Kenyan matatus are well known for their creative interior design, loud music and bold graffiti. The drivers and touts are also famous, or infamous for their sometimes lewd and ridiculous behaviors. We explore the crazy things touts do.
Nipee 20 nikurudisie 50
Not many people are very quick when it comes to making calculations off head. Its common parlance for a tout to ask you to add an extra Sh 20 on top of your fare so that he can give you back Sh 50 back as change.
So if you had already given him a Sh 100 note, you may have to do mental gymnastics to figure out the rationale. Many times passengers have a hard time processing that data.
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Bebea huyu mama hii mzigo
If you’ve ever sat in the row just behind the drivers seat, you must have fallen victim to this. You are just minding your own business when a tout suddenly pushes a sack or heavy box into your laps and tells you to hold it for someone.
Bewildered, you are about to protest until you see that the heavy load belongs to an old woman. Grudgingly you let it go and even feign a smile, but inside you are about to explode.
Squat when you see cops
In routes where it’s the norm rather than the exception for matatus to be overloaded, woe unto you if you encounter a police roadblock. Despite your size, age or weight you will be asked to squat or hunker down to evade detection by the cops.
Because of your dignity you flirt with the idea of refusing to squat, but when you remember the hefty fine that could be imposed on you, you quickly make yourself a diminutive figure.
Wanashukia hapa tu mbele
When an already full matatu pulls up in a stage, ordinarily you would not board it. The uncanny touts will insist that a few of the passengers will alight in the next stage which is just a few minutes away.
Shock on you when you board and no one alights for the next 15km or so. The result is a very uncomfortable ride as you are balancing in the ‘air’ that is the space between two seats.
Wawili twende
This is perhaps the most frustrating. At the stage the touts are fond of shouting 'wawili twende' and since some of the vehicles have tinted windows, you may be none the wiser.
When you board you realise that you are only three passengers in the vehicle. Your attempts to leave will normally be thwarted by the overzealous touts.