How to know you've become successful.
When you’ve finally made it, these are the things you’ll exhibit.
All big everything. Your tummy and your other “assets” suddenly get rounder and chubbier. Mo money, mo weight gain.
They’re bigger, louder and you seem to want them painted gold. Or another obnoxious colour like matte black.
You suddenly know everyone
You have the kind of connections you wish you had back when you were in college. And you’re not really sure how all those MPs and businessmen ended up in your phonebook.
You suddenly need a social media manager
The number of engagements you’re getting back on your social media posts is becoming unmanageable and for a second you entertain the idea that you need to employ somebody to manage all the posts for you.
There rumours about you
You get a sensationalist blogger suddenly talking about how you’re a devil worshipper or a new Illuminati recruit. And even more flattering, your family eats that $#*! Right up.
Your phone’s model isn’t available locally
Your workmate: Wah! Where did you get that phone?
You: I imported it.
You own a lot more African print fabrics
As your levels of wealth increase, so does your affinity for appearing wannabe. For some reason, people of affluence get a lot of tailored cloths with African prints. Your blazers have unique Ankara lapels that were specially tailored on by a seamstress in Karen.
You are a frequent Uber customer
When people borrow you money, you’re not even surprised at the amount
You’re ready to give it out even though it’s Sh20,000
You’re not worried about debts any more
You clear your bills, have no debts and even leave extra money with your mama mboga to cover extra costs.
You always go on trips
People with money are the ones who are always spending every weekend zip lining then go karting then bungee jumping and they have countless insta stories of how they went sky diving.