9 dating rules you can learn from romance novels

The idea that real life dating can ever be dictated by novels is a laughable topic. In fact, most people believe that romance novels and soap operas destroyed the dating scene by giving women illusional expectations of how men should treat them.

Still, being a die-hard fan of Nora Roberts, Daniele Steel and Lindsay Johnson has added a few wisdom tips to how I handle my relationships. Who knew guilty pleasures could be so educational?

1. Miscommunication kills relationships

Often miscommunication between characters has led to break ups in the stories, angered emotions and well, the book being thrown across the room. A lot of times couples argue over issues not because they were looking for a fight but because they didn’t understand each other’s point of view.

2. Don’t settle for bad romance

Here’s the difference between good courting and buying your girl a unicorn: the latter is what you think she expects while what she really wants is a guy with a good heart. In novels, the characters are always making chicken soup for bad colds. While you don’t necessarily have to be a good cook, such thoughtful tendencies go a long way to teach your woman how not to settle for bad romance.

3. Your man has feelings too

It’s easy to get caught up with your own pity party and forget that the guy, however macho he acts, has feelings too. In novels, you get to read the guy’s thoughts and while his point of view is always an interesting read, it is also a reminder of the human emotions that men in our lives try to hide.

4. The right person commits

When a happy ending is themed into a novel then the guy character is portrayed with no doubt as the most faithful of them all. He commits, everything in his world revolves around his woman. It’s not impossible. It feels like a tall order in real life but such men do exist and finding your own may be the key to a life-long happiness.

5. Love should make you feel good

Here’s a shocker: It’s possible to be in a relationship with no arguments. While the never ending drama in novels make the better part of the story, you will realise the harshest of words ever exchanged between lovers is always in sarcasm. No one insults the other. In real life it’s easy to get upset and have a slip of the tongue but one of the major reasons why relationships don’t last is because of such things that you can never take back.

6. It’s okay to have insecurities, just not all the time

A romance novel hallmark is the vulnerability displayed by both parties. She tells a little about herself, he himself. They move closer. But don’t mistake this for a therapy session. It's just sharing. Constant complaining about past torments isn’t a tool of seduction.

7. Settle for the best

Personally, I am a firm believer in settling for satisfaction when there is options. Dating is an option and just like characters always end up with the person that makes them the most happy, settle for a guy you will have no trouble loving.

8. Anything can happen anytime

The heroine is in her own world when romance suddenly turns it upside down. No one plans for the perfect relationship. In most novels the hero meets his lover in the most unexpected way and just like in real life, the first idea is to make a dash for it. While you may be feeling like you’re not ready to settle, giving someone a chance and letting it fail is better than ditching and missing an opportunity of a lifetime.

9. Always give it another chance

Wearing your heart on your sleeve is a scary thing. However the secret hope that the heroine in the novel will wait just a bit longer for her lover after he messed up, has kept you reading novels to the end. It may work out or it may be the biggest mistake of your life but not giving up on someone has always proven worthwhile like in the books.