Relationships How to turn down a good guy

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If you're going to lay him down, then you better do it right.

If he was dating you, he'd expect you to let go of everyone else too. play If he was dating you, he'd expect you to let go of everyone else too. (The Black Juice)

There’s this one guy that is so into you. You think it’s cute, you actually even like him but your heart belongs to someone else. You’re not so sure when it happened but you guys hang out a lot and he thinks that you’re into him too.

But you’re not.

So now you have to find a way to tell him that it’s not going to work and you have zero idea on how to go about it. 

It’s never easy telling off a guy that’s been genuinely good to you but men prefer to be let go instead of blindly being strung along in the hope of a future relationship that you know will definitely not happen. Instead of just jumping out and saying it, here’s a few ways you can break it off without hurting his feelings any more than necessary.

play Before anything else, acknowledge his efforts to get to you. (Huffingpost)


1. Acknowledge the effort

Before you drop the bad news, let him know that you actually enjoyed hanging out with him and that you actually know what it is he wants from you. He’s better off knowing that he’s efforts were felt than thinking they didn’t matter at all. Also it makes him feel like he’s not the problem, which is the truth anyway.

2. Drop the bombshell

He might really be into you and he’s feelings involved so remember to be gentle. You can use phrases like, “ I don’t think we’re suited for each other,” or ‘ I don’t see a future for us’ instead of telling him that you don’t find him attractive. A mature guy will be able to identify your careful approach and be grateful for it. Heck, you might even earn yourself a new best friend.

3. Try the friendship card

Okay, so it might feel like a decision driven by pity and nobody wants to feel that. It would be easier if you were friends in the first place but if not then express that you enjoy his company and would love to maintain it if only he stops pursuing you.

play Let him know that you enjoy his company and still want to be friends. (Ethology)


4. Avoid him

Then again, you might need to take some time off and keep your distance if you don’t trust yourself to be objective and avoid leading on his flirts. Out of sight, out of mind. Giving him time to recover from your rejection will be beneficial for both of you. Hopefully, some other girl will catch his attention and you’ll be home free. (This is what you wanted right?)

5. Acknowledge the presence of someone else in your life

No, it’s not rubbing it in for him, it’s being honest because sooner or later he will find out the truth. Remember, if he was dating you, he’d want you to do the same to anyone who approaches you. You don’t have to go into details. Just tell him that you have feelings for someone else or you’re dating and apologise for not stating it in the first place. Make sure that he knows it was your fault for not being open and whatever you do, do not act like you’re regretting the relationship. That will just give him hope that he can convince you to be his alone.


Again, there is no easy way of telling a guy off. The key is in how you execute the ‘break up’. Also, think deeply and count your losses before making this bold step. Asking him back after will make him feel like a second option. You don’t want that.

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