If you use matatus in your day to day routine, then you must have come across some really annoying habits from makangas (Touts).

From talking rudely, to keeping your change for you. Here are some of the annoying habits that makangas are obsessed with;

Confusing calculations

Touts can give you one hell of a headache when it comes to them giving your change back. They will confuse you with their calculations especially when they ask you to give them 20 or 30 bob so that they return a certain amount of money.

Its even worse when the tout gives you money to share among several people.

You will hear “ukona 30 nikupee 40 upee hiyo 10? Nlikua na mia mbili yako? Shika hii 30 Pea huyu 20 na huyu akupatie huyu 40 na uongezee huyu mwingine 20” By the time you realize what is going on, the conductor has already left with your money.

Fighting for customers

We know how important it is to fill a matatu, but some touts really go overboard just to make sure they have customers. One will pull your hand to a matatu, another will pull you to a different one as others shout and convince you to enter into their matatu, not forgetting their smelly breath.

By the time you get into the matatu of your choice, you are almost disabled.

Passing smelly arms close to your face

We understand that such a job can be really tiring but some touts never put an effort in maintaining their hygiene. They will even go to an extent of passing their foul-smelling arms close to your face as they collect other people’s fare. It doesn’t matter whether the smell can raise someone from the dead, they’ll just have to past it there.

Rude responses

Makanga’s usually have rude responses, ready to unleash when you say something that does not augur well with them.

Someone will complain about loud music, or the matatu stopping at almost every bus stage and you’ll hear one say “madam ukona maringo na hata uli bargain fare” or"kama gari ikona kelele si utoke ukae hapo nje" and yet the matatu is moving.

Keeping your balance or even stealing it

Even when touts have the correct amount of change to give you back, they will make sure they give It to you at the last minute. And they wont just give it to you easily. You will have to ask for it like five times, ask someone else to remind them, break your neck as you try to find them and even break you leg as you run after them.

Some will even steal it.

Isn’t this irritating?

Hitting up on ladies

You will never miss a Makanga who eyes everything that passes in a skirt. You will give him you fare and he will pass a seductive look, and even utter a phrase like “Madam si we ni mrembo. We ni size yangu kabisa”

Hiking fares

During this rainy season, makangas have a peculiar habit of hiking fairs eti just because of the rain and the traffic jam?

Where you are used to paying sh50, they will hike the fare to 70 bob or even a hundred bob.

Surely, with the expensive economy and the aflatoxins in food where do we run to?

Asking for 'small money'

There are certain touts who just love disturbing their passengers. You will give a tout a hundred bob and they will still ask you “Kwani hauna pesa ndogo?”

Surely, si uchukue tu na hiyo soo, pesa ndogo nikonayo ni 20 bob?

Packing people like a sack of potatoes

Annoying habits Makangas love
Annoying habits Makangas love

How many times have you entered a matatu only to find out that it doesn’t even have an empty seat? And before you even think of alighting, it is speeding off and you are left here holding on to a chuma as if your life depends on it.

They will lie to you “Hata kuna mtu anashukia huko mbele” and before that person alights you are at your destination already.

Mighty Lord, have mercy on these people.

Playing extremely loud music

Some drivers love playing extremely loud music that will rattle your bones. And when you request the tout to reduce the volume, they will clap back angrily at you and tell you to reduce the volume yourself or get into another matatu that’s quiet.

Kupitishwa gari

Touts will pick you anywhere; from your doorstep to the middle of the road but when the time comes for you to alight, they will suddenly become deaf and force you to alight at a different stage.

Kuharakishwa kushuka

Sometimes touts request and almost beg, people to enter into their matatu just so they can fill the bus. They will look like good humble people concerned with your well-being but wait until you get closer to your stage and start shouting ‘mwisho mwisho’ and bang on the doors and windows.

They make it look as if it is a matter of life and death.

Mwisho wa gari

The main aim of getting into a matatu is to get to your destination. However, touts make this an impossible mission when they reach a certain point and shout ‘Mwisho wa gari’. It's even worse when they leave you stranded and refuse to give back your fare.

Surely how will we get to the next stage?