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World AIDS Day I lost my mum to HIV/AIDS - Rapper Xtatic makes emotional confession

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The rapper has opened up about her mother's battle with HIV/AIDS.

Xtatic play

Xtatic

(Victor Peace)

There wasn’t a dry eye in sight as rapper Xtatic shared the story of her mother’s battle with HIV/Aids during World AIDS Day.

The talented rapper, who is best known for her collaboration called ‘Hit 'Em Up’ feat. AKA and Priddy Ugly opened up about how her mum contracted HIV from a person she trusted.

“It was from somebody she trusted. It’s kind of like those things you don't know where to start because you want to get angry at someone and you almost want to get vengeance and whatever but I accepted it. I was like just move on because I’m gonna be angry forever.” She said on The Trend.

“I never thought I would go through it, I read about it but never thought it would happen to me. When it happened to someone so close my mum it just hit hard. We always thought she would be strong through it, that she would make it we just had hope.” Xtatic said.

play Xtatic (Facebook)

 

She spoke of her mum’s last days which were characterized by pain, strong medication, organ failure and her mum forgetting her kids to a point of chasing her children from the hospital and getting aggressive with the doctors.

Sharing a photo of her mum during her last days, Xtatic wrote:

“She is the greatest story I ever knew.  And this was all of her, the last of her, in one picture.

play A photo shared by Xtatic (Instagram)

I couldn't think for a second a woman with so much love, kindness and happiness in her eyes would have such a life. After having fought and encountered so much in her young life, I thought the best a god could do - as a believer then - was to see it that it all ends well. (Most people would tend to think that after her is when I lost my faith, but, in fact that was the point where it was the strongest. It would have been unimaginable then for me to even imagine that she wasn't there no more even in spirit. That things just happen, and god(s) don't care. I was the least bit angry at any god I believed in and hoped that her troubled soul would be nursed, and each step of her children's way, her light would be felt.) She is the greatest story I ever knew,

And the greatest story I never shared.

She kept us together. She hoped and hoped and always saw a brighter future even in the most broken of times.

She avoided ever acting dissatisfied, humble, and treated every situation as if all that mattered was that she was alive and the people around her were happy.”

play Xtatic and her mum (Instagram)

 

She then went on to add “She is the greatest story I knew. But the saddest one yet. She didn't deserve it, not this way, not any way.

But 495 days, each day she suffered, and the worst thing about suffering mentally and physically and emotionally is waking up each of those days.

I would never imagine someone could bear so much. Every organ and every limb slowly failing. Even her mind, she forgot who she was. She chased us away from the hospital, her own children, she could not remember. She was afraid of the doctors, got aggressive with the little strength that she had and had to get tied down.

She never thought such would happen to her, she took it hard on herself. Maybe because of years of seeing the stigma around the disease. Every time it hit her that she was waking up to be reminded of it with the drugs that her body wasn't even responding to well, it would take every bit of her and turn her insides out.

I can explain how the 495 days were to me, but I can't even begin to imagine how the 495 days were to her...”

 

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