Everyone loves to have a good time in the bedroom right? But, sometimes its just a waste of time, energy and shaving cream because the men can be so annoying in bed.
The best kind of sex is where you're both relaxed, in tune and you're not really following any rule books. Some men will watch porn or read sex magazines and start replicating that with you and of course, chances are, it will fail and you will both end up in awkward positions thinking to yourselves, 'what the hell?'. Dear men, we know that you really want to please us in bed but, you don't have to try too hard, that said, please stop doing these things during intimacy cause they're dead ass annoying and boring:
How come you can lick everything else except the clitoris? Didn't you study biology? Or do we need to give you a torch for you to find it? Some men will be down there doing the bare minimum and will need your direction and guidance like Kenyan Uber drivers.
2. And when they manage to find the clitoris, they will suddenly change the rhythm just when you're enjoying.
Guys, listen, when a woman starts moaning and grabbing the sheets, that does not mean it's time for you to go faster or change the pace. It means you remain constant at what you were doing. It's really frustrating when the guys change the rhythm and you're left there like "Great! Just great, there goes my orgasm!"
3. Telling you to put the condom on for them.
Erm, it's your d*ck, and you're a grown ass man, why does the woman have to put the condom on for you?
4. Thrusting the woman's head back and forth during fellatio.
We appreciate you holding our hair or rubbing our backs while we do that job but it's really nasty and disrespectful to thrust our head up and down. I mean a blow job is even a favor...so don't act so entitled.
5. Suddenly thrusting a finger in the bum without permission or lube.
What's up with that? Who told the men that this is even sexy or enjoyable? And btw, since we are talking about the nether regions, we women really hate it when you pretend to have missed the vagina and try to stick it up the ass, again, with no permission or lube smh.
6. Bitting the nipple.
Of course, I'm not speaking for all women out there but dare I say that a majority of women do not appreciate nipple bitting. It's painful. It's not a freaking button to be played with, be gentle. A lick and sucking will do.
7. Talking too much.
"You like it? How many times have you cum? You like that d*ck, don't you?" Lol, pump your breaks boo. If she has cum, best believe you will not need to ask. It will be clear that she has because? Convulsions unless of course, she's faking it and we all know that that is not particularly a good sign.
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Stealthing is whereby a man removes the condom without the knowledge of the woman, in the middle of sex. First of all, this shit is disrespectful and shows just how much of an asshole you are to do that.
9. Cumming all over the woman's hair, face, breasts etc.
Again, I'm not speaking for every woman but I can assure you that we do not like that shit especially if you do not have permission! If it's your girlfriend and she's okay with that, then fair enough but other people, you definitely need permission. Do not assume that you can simply release your load on every other woman!
10. Sleeping immediately after sex.
Cuddle or hold your woman a little bit. Women hate it when the men just roll over and start snoring.
11. Not making the woman a priority.
Of course, if a man loves you, he will make sure that you both enjoy and he will try his best to pleasure you. However, there's another bunch that's really just there to bust a nut. We all deserve better than this kind for sure so be as selective with your men as you are with your selfiies.