5 toxic habits that could be ending your friendships [Pulse Contributor's Opinion]

Adult friendships are not easy and there are some things that can make them even harder or worse end them.

Neglect

A friendship is a relationship just like any other and it needs to be nourished. The parties involved have to consciously make efforts to sustain it.

In the age of social media and instant messaging it can be tempting to believe that’s all that’s needed.

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The same way romantic partners go on dates to spice things up, make a point of going on friendship dates. It will help maintain that bond.

Violating Boundaries

A sure way to end a friendship fast is failure to observe a friend’s personal boundaries.

Case in point is oversharing on social media. We all want to celebrate our friends’ huge milestones but it is important to acknowledge that our way of doing it may not be the same as theirs.

If a friend is not posting their engagement pictures, don’t post them. If you take a photo of them, be courteous enough to ask first before posting it.

A huge part of respecting boundaries also includes accepting a “no” from a friend. They are their own person and are allowed to decline things they don’t see fit.

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Dating the Ex

It’s 2021 and it’s shoot your shot season but maybe not on your friend’s ex’s court.

Your friend may never look at you the same way. If you really value friendship then by all means, find someone else. Seven billion people in the world and you could only find your friend’s ex?

Cast your net deeper because there’s plenty of fish in the sea. What’s even worse is not telling them and they find out later on. Such relationships only complicate the dynamics of your friendship.

Moving in Together

It sounds like the perfect plan but it’s a recipe for a disaster. You may end up hating someone you really cared about.

Moving in together means constantly being in each other’s space. If not handled well, that lack of privacy can breed resentment.

What if they are the friend who isn’t bothered by dirty dishes while you, on the other hand, can’t stand them?

Two people during an arguement Pulse Live Kenya

The issue of finances and who buys what and pays what bill will also crop up and put an end to that beautiful connection. Just don’t do it.

Being too Close to their Partner

While it’s important to get acquainted with your friends’ significant others, clear friendship boundaries have to be drawn.

Being overly friendly will raise suspicion. It’s particularly crucial to not hang out with them without your friend.

Human beings can be very territorial with their partners and this will bring feelings of jealousy.

Arguably, it will be hard to maintain your loyalty to your friend when you are too close to their partner and nobody wants that.

You also don’t need to be messaging them or talking on the phone if not to plan a surprise party for your friend.

Closer up of woman using smart phone Pulse Live Kenya

A good part of maintaining healthy adult friendships is also recognizing the end or various transitions of the friendship.

Life is happening and people are evolving. If it no longer fits its purpose, gracefully let it go.

Pulse Contributor Cindy Odinga Pulse Live Kenya

The foregoing is an Opinion Article submitted to Pulse Live Kenya for publication as part of the Pulse Contributors initiative.

Pulse Contributors is an initiative to highlight diverse journalistic voices. Pulse Contributors do not represent the company Pulse and contribute on their own behalf.

Should you wish to submit an Article to Pulse, do so via contributors@pulse.co.ke.

Cindy Odinga is a Kenyan creative, Digital content creator and a Style enthusiast. She is a lover of all things adventure and lives by the words, "If you obey all the rules, you'll miss all the fun."