5 types of guys in a girl’s DM [Pulse Contributor's Opinion]

The starter pack to slide to a girl’s DM would be grease and resilience

A woman smiling while looking at her phone [Photo: Courtesy]

A girl’s DM can be likened to a shooting range with many sharp shooters trying to shoot their shots with many of them ending as blank shots and only a few hitting the bull’s eye.

Wooing can be such a mean and woeful task even as approaching girls can be tantamount to climbing up a hill at times.

In fact, the starter pack to slide to a girl’s DM would be grease and resilience to find a way to the target’s heart.

Almost all men have at some point fallen for pictures posted by beautiful women on social media and they’ve gone on to muster some courage to send a direct message (DM) in a bid to win her over.

As they adherently follow the good doctrines of Master Amerix that aptly say, "Men are the prize," and they lose nothing in trying out their chances with women.

Here are some five types of guys who, like worker bees, buzz around the queen bee machine in the search of "honey".

  • The Flirt

He is armed with an arsenal of pick-up lines. He is so good at finessing that he leaves her blushing and smiling sheepishly at her phone’s screen.

They type that ensure she wakes up to, "Are you the sun, because you make my day bright!"

A girl could easily start falling for this type unbeknownst to them, that he uses flirting as a coping mechanism and has no genuine intentions.

  • The Funny guy

He easily passes for a low budget Kevin Hart, or an employee at a meme factory.

His timeline or status is full of hilarious videos and memes and chatting with him is like attending a virtual Churchill Show as he leaves your ribs hurting.

He just finds a way to make her laugh and bit by bit, it becomes a habit to always look forward to lengthening her days by ever messaging him.

  • The Forever "Hi" guy

He epitomizes that Kenyan behavior where someone knocks at a locked lavatory only to ask if there’s someone inside.

The "Hi’s" and "Habari yako Mrembo’s" he has sent would fill up a thirty-two-page exercise book.

Like the good human she is, when she replies, he pisses her off completely with a “Niambie kitu tamu”.

He doesn’t come out right with what he wants and like a job seeker, he tarmacs in her DM.

  • The Filthy guy

They are distant cousins of the Indian Men. They are so lewd and bawdy in their messages and are so obsessed with soliciting for nudes.

They are so quick to send their own that they make her cringe. An attempt at rejecting their advances would automatically subscribe you to a barrage of insults as the rejection won’t sit well with them.

  • The For Better-or-Worse guy

On his profile photo, he is adorned in a Kitenge which he fervently claims he would like to match with someone's daughter soon.

Like a politician, he has a manifesto that he intends to implement once he wins her over like a landslide in an election.

He is so serious that in no time he starts to call her endearing words, and before she knows it she is cuffed, all thanks to the DM rendezvous.

The foregoing is an Opinion Article submitted to Pulse Live Kenya for publication as part of the Pulse Contributors initiative.

Pulse Contributors is an initiative to highlight diverse journalistic voices. Pulse Contributors do not represent the company Pulse and contribute on their own behalf.

Should you wish to submit an Article to Pulse, do so via contributors@pulse.co.ke.

Thomas is a creative writer with a flair for weaving up witty listicles and articles. He has carved a niche in writing Lifestyle, Entertainment, Human Interest and Fashion Pieces over the last two years. I am also a student of Media And Journalism at Moi University.


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