How to deal with your alcoholic husband

ruby orimba

July 6, 2017 11:41 AM

Alcoholism affects the whole family

A common scene in the Kenyan night life is of women dressed in their night gowns coming to nightclubs to get their drunk husbands.

In fact, just last year, women in Nyeri demonstrated along the streets demanding conjugal rights from husbands who drink too much and don't perform in bed.

It's a real pandemic.

The devil called alcoholism has seen wives beaten, chased out of their homes in the middle of the night and brought down to poverty. Still, it has been accepted as a norm by most. I mean, doesn't the fallacy that if he doesn't drink then he is probably unfaithful come to mind?

However, the question just how long will a relationship survive alcohol dependency?

Unfortunately, it rarely ever does, unless the partner changes.

So how do you deal with an alcoholic partner?

Talk about it. This is the first and most important step to initiating recovery. Do it when he is sober. An important tip is to start the conversation with you being the one with a problem with it instead of using an accusing tone. Say 'I have a problem with the way you drink' instead of 'You have a drinking problem' however much you want to be blunt.

Pointing out the kids are also being affected should be a sobering point in the conversation and the tone you take is also very important.

And get help for the whole family. The biggest mistake made by people with alcoholic partners is assuming that just because he has stopped drinking everything else will be okay. Counselling should be done for all family memebers and not just the alcoholic.

On the contrary, it affects the whole family. Insults made, actions done in times of intoxication can leave deep scars and lead to distant relationships between the parents and the children. If not dealt with these can develop into problematic relations for the family in the future with one of the kids also becoming an alcoholic or completely.