Guide to surviving the 2022 World Cup for people who don't care about football

The World Cup happens every four years, it features 32 teams from the different countries and attracts football superstars to play for their countries. This probably makes it that much more exciting, not to mention the betting games that surrounds it!

Here's a cheat-sheet on how to get through the next few weeks without losing your mind, friend or spouse.

1. Prepare to be ignored during this period by most men in your life. Whether it is your family, spouse or that 'someone' who has been pursuing you since the Covid-19 lockdown. Find things to occupy yourself with, disappear for some alone time, (they probably won't notice you're gone).

2. Watch a match. You might hear people tell you that "you're uninterested because you haven't watched any of the matches". Nothing can make you fall in with the gang if you absolutely do not want to invest energy in watching "just one match". But if you are remotely curious, there's no harm in catching one. The worst that can happen is that you confirm that it isn't for you.

3. Although it is held every four years, do not say out loud or mutter "thank God this is only every four years" in the company of fans. Save that remark for the election period.

4. If you're not interested, do not ask questions out of curiosity or otherwise. Two things will happen. Firstly, you will get bored to your soul when a fan starts explaining the terminologies, tactics, player names, player positions. Secondly, you might have to maintain an "interested" face whenever they want to talk about the match some more. But you'll have fun practicing that "interested" face in front of a mirror for the sake of your spouse. Oh, it's a 7.32 meter by 2.44 meter goal.

5. Here's some starter-pack information to help you get through a conversation. Qatar is the competition host, the first hosting nation's team to lose an opening match. France are the defending champions after wining against Croatia in 2018, and the mercurial Portuguese.

6. You might have to give up the TV all together. The match highlight shows and full match replays broadcasted all day long mean as much as the live match broadcasts. They simply have to watch everything.

7. You might cease to exist. To them. With eyes glued to the screen, phone, laptop, tablet, anything that will show World Cup content, say goodbye to compliments, help around the house, hanging out, among other social activities.

8. Prepare to spend time alone and enjoy it. The World Cup season is not the time to spend qualty moments together. You're welcome to sit with them on the couch and look at the screen, but you might as well take up the beer and drink with them. Don't expect attention and never attack the game in frustration.

9. Italy is not playing. Only one of the Ronaldos will be playing. "In a pitch in Qatar, at a time of his Manchester scandal, the fate of Portugal rests on the shoulders of a football legend, his name...Ronaldo Luiz Nazario De Lima." No, that Ronaldo is from Brazil and stopped palying a long time ago. The shoulders of the greatest footballer of his time, his name......Cristiano Ronaldo.

10. Stay up-to-date with the World Cup news by checking the Pulse Uganda Sports website daily, if you want to talk football with your spouse, fan friends and other loved ones.