6 reasons why women cheat on the men they love
Jackline Mwende rose to nationwide fame after her husband Stephen Ngila chopped off her hands because she could not conceive while in fact Stephen was the one suffering from infertility.
But we later came to learn that there were two sides to this story and Jackline Mwende though a victim was not as hapless as we thought. This is because of the burgeoning baby bump she sported as she was presented with a new house and a mini-mart early this year.
The baby daddy was said to be a man who Mwende had slept with in a lodging in Machakos town before the attack as she didn’t want to defile her matrimonial bed. A man whose sole purpose was to make Jackline pregnant and leave as she yearend badly for a baby which Stephen couldn’t provide
News that Jackline had cheated was met with clutched pearls and misogynistic outrage with people demanding that Stephen be released since he was cheated on, which is utter nonsense because cheating doesn’t justify cutting off someone’s hands. If that was the case, many people would be limbless right now.
Like yes cheating sucks balls, but why would you want to spend a possible life in prison for killing or years in prison for assault simply because someone cheated on you and you felt cuckolded?
And there are like a gazillion other human beings to love and marry, like my grandma always says “No need to lose it over a broken relationship because day the person was born, a million other people were born.” So there is always another person for you if it doesn't work out with the man you love.
Preaching aside, let’s find some reasons why women cheat:
In Africa the burden of fertility is almost always placed on the woman, even if it’s the man with the problem the woman seems to carry the cross of infertility with many blaming childlessness on the wife. And so as to prove they are not the ones with the problem some women stray to save their marriage.
“I wanted a child. I was desperate and it is that yearning ... and probably the devil too ... that made me stray out of my marriage. But I did it to save my marriage.” Jackline Mwende told the Nation in regards to the straying that cost her both of her hands.
They say payback is a b*tch and no one carries out this revenge quite like a scorned woman. And since most of them are not crazy enough to revenge their husband’s infidelity by flat-out murdering them or cutting off their manhood or damaging their car in a 'Waiting to Exhale' kind of way; some chose to cheat to spite their partner.
Research shows that revenge is the second biggest cause of infidelity, with sexual dissatisfaction topping the list.
3. Sexual Dissatisfaction
Sex is an integral part of a relationship as it allows the body to release the love hormone oxytocin that creates a stronger emotional bond to your partner.
“Your bedroom chemistry improves the chemistry in your relationship. A sexless relationship can become vulnerable over time and therefore, you need sex to keep the fire burning.” India Times explains.
And unfortunately, nothing is as desirable as a new hot catch when your sex life has hit the dumps and your relationship is at a vulnerable stage.
As Professor Eric Anderson of the University of Winchester explains. “An uncontested sex-ologicalfinding is that the longer a couple is together, the less frequent and less intense their sex will be. Sex with another is hot, in a way that sex with your partner is not.”
4. Emotional Dissatisfaction
As a man you may think that breaking her back in your ‘hey days’ will cut it or now that you are married you don’t need to do much in the romance department. Unfortunately neglecting your relationship and ignoring your spouse even involuntarily breaks the emotional connection. And since women are emotional beings, she might just have an emotional affair with someone who will cater to her emotional needs.
As one woman told Huffington post “The biggest reason I strayed was the complete lack of attention I was shown. No birthday or Christmas cards, no gifts. He stopped saying ‘I love you.’ We went from having sex once a week before the baby to every couple months after the baby, to eventually once a year. It’s really easy to fall out of love when you feel like your spouse is a roommate you co-parent with.”
Apparently Narcissisticpeople have a higher predisposition to cheating.
Sam Vaknin author of Malignant Self Love - Narcissism Revisited gives a few reasons why Narcissistic people are likely to cheat.
And here are some of the reasons he laid out ‘In the quest for narcissistic supply, the somatic narcissist resorts to serial sexual conquests.
Narcissists are easily bored (they have a low boredom threshold) and they have a low tolerance for boredom. Sexual dalliances alleviate this nagging and frustrating ennui.
Narcissists feel superior and important and so entitled to be above the law and to engage in behaviors that are frowned upon and considered socially unacceptable in others. They reject and vehemently resent all limitations and conditions placed upon them by their partners. They act on their impulses and desires unencumbered by social conventions and strictures. "
5. For fun
Sometimes cheating is not always a complicated thing wrought by heavy emotions, neglect and loneliness, sometimes it’s pretty simple.
As they say, girls just want to have fun and sometimes a fun new person who seems to bring more excitement than their spouse presents themselves and they decide to indulge in an extracurricular relationship with the next shiny thing.
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