Too much time together with your partner can bring about frequent conflicts. As you might have noticed, the fights are even more during the Covid-19 pandemic.
In fact, relationships and family therapist Grace Kariuki tells Pulselive that she has had to deal with the issue of increased conflicts more than ever before.
So how do you handle those frequent fights you are having with your partner during quarantine? Grace shares some tips that can bring peace and harmony in your relationship during this period:
1. Accept that you are both different
You will not always agree with your partner because you both think differently. Instead of focusing on those differences that bring about conflict, focus on the good things about your partner and your relationship.
2. Purpose to be kind to each other
For the sake of peace and harmony at home, you both need to choose to nice to each other. It’s a decision you make for the wellbeing of your relationship.
“Intend to forgive quickly and to let go of offences quickly. If the pain is too much, reach out for help from a professional counsellor, pastor, or a trusted friend. Find ways to process your feelings and thoughts so that you don’t project your anger to each other or the kids.” Grace advises.
3. Anticipate problems
This will help you to come up with a solution even before the problem comes. For instance, you already know that your partner might be stressed if their job involves being exposed to COVID-19 or if the pandemic has affected them financially. As a good partner, show that you are concerned and be empathetic. Ask them how work is and talk about their struggles without being offensive.
4. Communicate when you need a time out
“If the conversation is getting hot, instead of walking away or keeping quiet, please try to say, ‘I am feeling triggered and afraid if we continue to speak, I will say things I don't want to say. Please let me take a break, we can talk about this at a later date.’ Then, make a point to return to the conversation when you are less angry or frustrated.” This expert tells Pulselive.
5. Take care of yourself
With so much happening due to Covid-19, Grace advises that both parties must be willing to take care of themselves to reduce emotional stress. This involves learning how to deal with anger and stress, doing things that lift your mood and spirit, and, avoiding negativity.