6 uncomfortable truths about friendship no one tells you about

The goal of most friendships is always to grow together, but just like everything else in life, this is never guaranteed.

A group of friends [Photo by Monstera]

At some point in your life, everyone has had a friend who you never imagined you’d part ways with, but right now, you don’t talk. Well, that’s the nature of friendships.

Here are more bitter truths about friendships:-

People change and the nature of friendships also changes. With time, people grow apart, either because of distance or because they no longer share the same values.

If this happens, don’t move on with a heavy heart. Instead, appreciate the endings and the good times you had with them. There comes a time when we have to say goodbye to the very things we once loved.

Similarly, some friends will outgrow you and that’s okay too.

Adulting can be quite challenging. With everyone doing their best to keep moving, pay bills, and do better, it’s normal for people to lose touch.

It’s not unusual to plan meet-ups one or two months prior, only for someone to cancel last minute either because of work or an emergency.

Friendships need lots of grace, kindness, forgiveness, and warmth. Just because you don’t talk every day doesn’t mean you are not on good terms. You just need to be patient.

As friends, it’s easy to want to grow together, elevate and achieve your goals. But truth is, people, don’t grow at the same rate.

Some will accomplish their dreams before others. Some will get a family first, more money than you and that’s okay.

It’s easy to feel left behind or as if you cannot relate with them because of a change of lifestyle or status, but at the end of the day, they are still your friends. It’s okay if growth looks different in your season. Your growth doesn’t have to look like theirs and vice versa.

Be happy for them and acknowledge their progress as you work towards your own.

You will have misunderstandings and conflicts. Just like any type of relationship, you will bump heads.

You might get over these hurdles or you might not. Whatever happens, it's always good to work out your differences because you’ll experience more than one setback and it’s the challenges that’ll test how strong your friendship is.

We tend to put a lot of pressure on people and expect them to be our confidants, best friends, advisors, a shoulder to lean on, and much more.

Truth is, there are times you’ll need your friend and they won’t be there for you. That doesn’t mean they are bad friends but there are days people don’t have the capacity to handle our problems or show up for us.

Everybody is going through something and we must have the grace to give people space and let them be until they are ready to accommodate us. But once we have the need for our friends to be always available for us, we kind of mess things up.

This might sound selfish but in your circle of friends, you always know which one to go to if you have a relationship problem, a money problem, or a career problem. People have different strengths and weaknesses.

You can have a friend whom you tag along to events but when you have a mental problem, you can’t talk to them about it because of the level of their depth. If you choose to talk to someone else, that’s okay. It doesn’t mean you don’t trust your friend but sometimes our friends are not our everything.

You are allowed to solve your issues elsewhere and still continue the friendship.

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