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8 red flags most people ignore when starting relationships

How keen are you on noticing red flags?

A man and a woman enjoying a picnic [Photo: Lombe K]

There are subtle things that most people often turn a blind eye to in their partners. Though small at first, these flags later raise towering issues.

How keen are you on noticing the following red flags albeit being color blind?

You can’t seem to have a conversation to talk over your problems in the relationship. She has a tendency of sweeping issues under the carpet. He is escapist par excellence, always downplaying your request for accountability.

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You can’t reason together and come to agreeable terms over a certain decision. She can’t understand why you had to take a certain step. His or her level of reasoning is rounded off to the nearest puerility. Red flag.

This red flag come with the preamble “Kata niongee na mtu nakupigia (I'll call you back, I have to take an urgent call)” anytime you are in a call with your partner, a pure killjoy.

Calls past a certain hour go unanswered. When you ask, a flimsy excuse is always given. The phone is also not nearby every time you call and you can’t help but wonder, "It’s been a week since the last call, am I still a priority?"

You recall checking their phone log only to realize they still frequently call a specific ex. Red flag.

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Her attitude rivals that of an underpaid and overworked shop attendant. She hurls invectives faster than a javelin thrower anytime you argue.

You have noticed how he shouts at waiters and security guards. He is very temperamental and his anger flares up quicker than a lion’s nostrils.

Who is to say you won't be on the receiving end as such a person's partner? Red flag.

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While self-love and self-preservation are all understandable human traits, let's accept and realize that a person needing a relationship to centre around only their needs, wants, opinions, ambitions, worries, or just them all the time is not normal.

If your partner never shows interest in you or the things that matter to you but demands that you do that for them, you might be dealing with a narcissist and if you're an empath then there's no way that will go well.

If they say they 'fell' in love with you, then fight back the feelings and flee. Most people grow into love but don’t 'fall'.

Too much affection breeds expectations which you may end up not living up to.

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You should be ready to be judged for your actions if they follow Mchungaji's words to the letter, attend Kesha’s and church events almost every day, leaving you doubting your shaky faith.

If how he looks at you very piously anytime you spot that hugging dress. He claims your body is the temple of God and you shouldn’t be dressing that way, well, your meeting with yourself should involve trying to understand what other religious beliefs you will have to adhere to just to be with this person.

You are thinking of buying a lie detector as anything that comes from this person's mouth borders on lies. They may look all innocent but you would be thunderstruck like that guy who passed out when he found out he had been paying rent for a house owned by his wife.

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It is mostly overlooked as 'love is blind'. Often, people will settle for a romantic partner based on finances or looks. Sadly, superficial things are just that, superficial. Such relationships tend to end in an ugly way with people talking about how they were 'wasted' or taken advantage of. But if that's your chosen poison, who dares question your choice?

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