Relationships run better when there is money to do all the cute things couples like to do; going on all the those nice dates, getting the thoughtful gifts, jetting out for those amazing getaways and generally just living the good life.
Love surely still exists where money is scarce, its expression may just not be as smooth as partners would love.
What this means is that money is not something to shy away from. Discussing its operation and looking for ways to manage funds should be something that both couples should actively be involved in. And in doing so, there are some rules that couples should not ignore, because doing so would be counter-productive to the whole idea of having well managed finances.
When it comes to management of funds, it is important for partners to realize that there is really no right or wrong way to go about it.
According to Financial therapist, Amanda Clayman, who has had experience working with over 500 couples in the course of her 16-year-old career, the worst mistake couples make in how they manage their finances is believing there is a “right or wrong” way to approach the issue.
Now this is where the conflict arises; there aren’t many couples who agree on how their money should be spent. Often times, one wants to spend while the other wants to over-save.
Stats from Ameriprise in 2016 support this. According to them, 73% of individuals have different money management styles from their partner, which means that a lot of couples aren’t usually on the same page when it comes to money.
And it will be a mistake to try to force your views on the other person.
Here’s how Clayman recommends you resolve such problem: conversations. Ask and listen to each other speak on your individual views on money. It is important to be patient while having these conversations. It’s also important to listen just to listen versus listening to respond.
You have to approach the discussion with an open mind because your unwillingness to understand your partners point of view or budge on your own perspective would block any chance of conflict resolution.
Expert opinion also suggests that it is better to see the conversation as something that is ongoing for the whole time you’re together. Money talks are open-ended and inexhaustive. As you earn more, get more responsibilities, take on more projects, you will need to keep having conversations about savings, spending, retirement funds, all that stuff.