The renowned Kenyan writer, Binyavanga Wainaina who passed on recently is just one of the people who came out to declare their sexuality without fear and fight for the LGBT community rights. But there are more people like the late gay activist but are afraid of declaring their sexuality due to fear of victimization since homosexuality is highly criminalized in Kenya.
With all the fear, people tend to mask their real self and act like heterosexuals just to conform and fit into society. Or haven’t we all heard of gay husbands and boyfriends? Or even lesbian wives for that matter? Maybe it’s high time we learn to live with these people and appreciate the differences.
Anyway, what would you do if you just realized that your boyfriend is secretly gay? This couldn’t be the best news probably but it’s better if you knew earlier before you two got married and learned later when you already have children. Right?
If you have your suspicions, the surest way to know if your boyfriend is gay is to ask him. Of course, he could also choose not to tell you the truth if he is afraid of what will happen afterward. We have listed a few telltale signs that you can watch out for to know if he is gay or not. But remember it is also possible that your boyfriend is not gay but he is just a bisexual:
1. He is not interested in being intimate with you
This could mean a lot of things. He could be stressed or just tired. But if you are always the one initiating sex and he never seems interested, it could also mean that he is secretly having sex with another man.
2. He is so touchy with other men
They could be just close but you can’t fail to recognize when a man is behaving strangely towards other men. Most men are uncomfortable with being so touchy with their fellow men. But if your man is so free to go holding hands or cuddling with his male friends, he could be gay.
3. He buys expensive gifts for his male friends
He hardly gets you any gifts but is so keen to get his male friends’ gifts frequently. He is probably trying to get the attention of a guy he is interested in.
4. He has had sex with men before
It could have been a one-time thing but it could also be something he still does secretly. If he liked it then, he could still do it now.
5. He enjoys watching gay porn
Most ‘straight’ men will find this disgusting and uncomfortable. But if your boyfriend is gay, he will have no problem watching gay porn frequently. You might also notice that he is not into watching heterosexual porn videos.
6. Gay pop-ups on his computer
He could be watching gay porn secretly and then deleting the history because he does not want you to know. Talk to him about any queer pop-ups on his computer.