Things to avoid saying to a parent of a special needs child

Parents with children with special needs have enough things to worry about and the last thing you can do is make it worse than it is. There are things you might say innocently but those things hurt and affect them deeply even though they may not show or tell you.

If you know or relate often with such a parent, make sure you never say these things to them:

1. I’m so sorry

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Sorry for what? The last thing such a parent wants is sympathy. They want their child treated like all the other children. In as much as you might feel pity for them, don’t express it.

2. What’s wrong with them?

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While you may be just curious to know what the child’s problem is, don’t just ask especially when there are other people around. If you can clearly see that the child has a problem, be silent and wait for the parent to tell you about it when and if they are comfortable. If you must really say something, compliment the child’s smile, outfit or just say something nice.

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3. God gives you only what you can handle

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This is not consoling at all. You don’t even know if they are really able to handle it. The parent might be breaking inside even if they seem okay. They might also need help even though they seem like superheroes. Just tread carefully with your words.

4. Your child looks normal to me

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Yes, they look normal because you can’t judge whether a child has a special need just by the look. It makes the parent wonder what a disabled child should look like.

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5. How do you do it?

Where do they even start and how do they answer that? Just know it’s not easy and avoid digging into details.

6. It must be so difficult