Our moms did a great job raising us to be the people we are today. Even so, there are things they shied away from telling us either because it was viewed as a taboo or they just didn’t know how to do it.
As a result, most girls figured out things on their own much later in life or from other people especially if you didn’t have an elder sister or an aunt who was open enough to discuss stuff with.
We talked to different ladies and they opened up on some of the things they deeply wish that their mothers could have told them when growing up. Here is what they had to say:
1. One boob would be bigger
I wish my mom told me that one boob would be bigger. I was so disturbed and thought I wasn’t normal. It got to a point that I would stuff in some cloth on the smaller boob so that they were both the same size.
2. You should not wash your vagina with soap
I had to figure out that I wasn’t supposed to clean my vajayjay with soap when in campus after reading it on a magazine. Before then, I would literally rub soap on it to clean it well. I didn’t even know that it is a self-cleansing organ.
3. How to shave and what to use
My mom never told me that there would come a time when I’d have hairs down there and I’d need to shave them. I had no idea how I was supposed to it and what to use. The first time I shaved, my skin reacted so bad and when I told her, she thought I had gotten an infection after having sex.
4. How to have safe sex
All I knew was that sex was bad. Nobody ever told me about condoms and having safe sex. I wish my mom could have told me about it.
5. The period talk
We never had the period talk with my mom. I remember one time we went shopping and she bought some sanitary towels for my sister. When I asked her what they were for, she just dismissed the question and said they were my sister’s ‘things’.
6. How to relate with boys
I wasn’t allowed to have male friends yet no reason was given. Goodness, I grew up believing that boys were real monsters!
7. Preparation for body changes
I wish she reassured me that all the body changes were normal. To some extent, my self-esteem went down when my boobs started developing. I even started to slouch in an attempt to hide them.
8. The sex talk should have been made more comfortable
Yes, we had the sex talk with my mom, almost on a weekly basis. But, it was done in a way that instilled so much fear that it became something you would never want to try even after growing up.
I don’t mean to say that my mom should have encouraged me to have sex and use contraceptives, but it could have been better to learn from her than learn it from friends in college.
10. How to stand up for myself
Being a stay at home mom, there was little that she taught me about being able to stand for myself and going for the things I want in life. I wish she told me that I am more deserving and that I can always stand up for myself regardless of the situation.
11. How to appreciate myself more
When growing up, you have lots of insecurities about your body. At times I wish my mom could have been more reassuring about my body image. I wish she said things like ‘you are beautiful the way you are’ instead of having to hear such words for the first time from boys.