Increasingly, live-in relationships are becoming acceptable in the society. In Kenya we call that arrangement come-we-stay.
In such an arrangement, a lady moves in with the boyfriend and they live together before getting married. While it's still frowned upon and seen as taboo, I honestly feel that it's necessary to live with a man before getting married or engaged to him for a number of reasons which we shall comb through in this article. Indeed, there are many reasons why you shouldn't move in with a man, such as not having much space and privacy anymore or the marriage getting delayed due to that whole 'we are okay as we are' comfort zone. In my opinion however, I believe that it's beneficial to move in together with bae before marriage or engagement and here's why.
1. You will learn if you really are compatible.
When you move in with someone, you get to see their raw side, this person might have really nasty habits that you didn't know. Are you willing to put up with some of those habits? Can they actually change? Is it a deal breaker?
2. Subsequently, you also get to learn if you're compatible sexually.
Obviously, unlike when you lived apart, you will have more sex when you move in together. You wanna make sure that it's an experience that you're actually enjoying as you will be waking up next to this person forever, should you get married.
3. You learn how to share chores.
Gone are the days when the women would do everything around the house. Now, real men help around with chores too. If the man is cooking dinner, the woman helps with dishes and vice versa.
4. You share expenses and get to practise money management.
Ultimately, your bills are less as you now have someone to split living costs with. Most of the times, the man will take care of the bigger bills such as rent but you as the girlfriend, you should also chip in say in buying food or small expenses here and there such as Internet, DSTV, water, garbage and such. Don't leave your man to take care of all the bills unless of course he's happy to albeit, you should show initiative.
When you don't live together and you get mad at each other over something, you can even go for days without talking to each other. But when you live together, you learn how to solve problems, conflicts and communicate better. On the flip side, the conflicts are a lot more when you live together but it's better to know how things are likely to be in future.
6. And speaking of the future, you get a clear picture of how marriage would look like if the two of you were to get hitched.
Are you prepared to spend the rest of your life with this person?
7. You get to know someone really well.
What they like, what they dislike, how they handle stress, how their hygiene situation is like, their good and bad habits etc. While some of these habits are hard to change, knowing a person perfectly helps you decide if you want to proceed with the relationship or whether to call it quits.
8. At the end of a long day, you have someone to come home to, protect you, rant about your bad day to, give you hugs and cuddles.
Perhaps the best part about staying together - a companion.
9. You have someone to help you with things you can't do.
If you're a guy and can't cook, you have someone to help you with that. As for the ladies, you have someone to fix the bathroom bulb and open all those tight jars.