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Why do breakups hit guys differently? Here are 5 reasons

If men develop healthier ways to express their emotions, then it can bring about a huge change in the way they deal with breakups.

A man crying

Dealing with breakups can be difficult.

While the stereotype is that a breakup hits men a lot later, emerging research conducted with 184,000 participants found that men seem to be more affected by the loss of a relationship.

Why do breakups affect guys later?

It depends on how men deal with breakups and how open they are with the people around them. People often wonder when breakups hit guys, but you might’ve noticed that men react differently when it comes to different partners.

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With some partners, it takes a lot longer to sink in, but in other, shorter relationships, they bounce back fast. So it can be hard to estimate what the stages of a breakup for guys look like, but it is commonly acknowledged that there is a gender difference in how people act on their feelings.

Do guys feel bad after a breakup?

If he is someone who was invested in the relationship and cared deeply about seeing it through, it’s not surprising that he might be feeling very upset after a breakup. Even though sometimes they might not show it, men do experience negative emotions.

Feeling bad about a breakup or taking a lot of time to process emotions could be a reason why men seem like they don’t feel upset.

  • Men might suppress their feelings more
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From a young age, boys are told not to cry or show any emotions. They grow up learning that to cry is to be weak, and to feel hurt or to express it means they are somehow not “man” enough. Due to this, men tend to suppress their emotions a lot more than women do.

When people suppress their feelings, they may try to distract themselves or pretend that they’re happy and everything is going absolutely fine, when that’s not the case at all. This is one of the reasons why it might seem like they’re not hurt at all when in fact, they’re just hiding it.

  • Men might try to deal with breakups independently

You may often notice that some men are very hesitant about asking for help.

Breakups are the same way; men may hesitate to communicate and ask for help.

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Often men are so adamant about not getting help or sympathy that they take longer to get over a relationship. Women may talk to their friends and family, cry over it, and ask for help way more than guys do, which is a very healthy way to cope with depression or anxiety over a breakup.

  • Men might deny it first and reflect later

Studies have found that men tend to deny their mistakes, minimize their faults, and blame their partners for the breakups. This leads to them spending the first few weeks of a breakup angry at their partner.

Some people might waste their precious mental energy on blaming their ex when focusing on their own feelings would be more productive. After a while, they might start reflecting on their behaviour, which is why they can act like they don’t care after a breakup in the beginning and then start to feel remorse.

Do guys move on faster after a breakup?

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Not necessarily. Ultimately, it does depend a lot on the person and their relationship. If the guy is more open about their feelings, they tend to move on at a healthy pace. If the relationship was a short-term, casual one, they also tend to move on faster than if it was a long-term relationship.

How long does it take for a breakup to sink in for a guy?

If the man deals with relationships and his own feelings in a healthy way, it should sink in almost immediately. Unfortunately, the social norms about gender roles are so ingrained in people that men act like they don’t care after a breakup, and this denial can stop the reality from sinking in.

A breakup usually sinks in for a man when they start to regret their mistakes when he misses the intimacy and connection he had, and once he acknowledges that there’s no way to get the good times back. Sometimes, it can take a long time for all of this to sink in.

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