...or touch each other. Since, you know, the men and women aren't in the same room together, they don't get to touch the person they're dating. No hand holding. No kissing. No hugging. You get the picture. damian__powers - Instagram
They only get to meet AFTER getting engaged. Couples enter the pods and spill their hearts out to one another. Afterand only afteryou're engaged are the couples allowed to meet face-to-face for the first time. Netflix
The men and women date for 10 days. The experiment is broken down into three different sections, starting with the dating period, which lasts 10 days. After getting engaged, couples go to paradise for a week to build their ~physical~ connection. For the last few weeks, they live together in the real world while planning their weddings. Netflix
But no one HAS to get engaged. Creator and producer Chris Coelen (who's also the mastermind behind Married At First Sight) said it was scary as a producer, because no one's required to get engaged or married. "[On] a show like we do Married At First Sight, you sign up and you know, youre getting married to a stranger. Here, nobody had to do anything. It was if you find someone, if you choose. Which is so scary. They dont have to go through with the wedding ceremony," Coelen told Variety . Netflix
Producers arrange the first pod dates. It starts with speed dating. Cast members spend 8-10 minutes with each person of the opposite sex, Coelen told E! News : "In the beginning, just from a practical standpoint, we have to give them certain time limits just so we can them through and they have a chance to talk to everyone...where they just got to know each other." Netflix
Male and female cast members have to live separately. Since they can't see each other before getting engaged, the male and female singles lived in separate parts of the set and had a different team of producers, too. Netflix
The experience is like living in a fraternity or sorority house. "Life at the facility felt like a sorority," cast member Lauren Speed told OprahMag.com . "You'd think that people would be catty because some people would like the same guy. But we actually formed a sisterhood, no lie." Kenny Barnes told Refinery29 the guys did plank competitions, cooked together, went for runs, and more. Netflix
Alone time is allowed. Not only did the men and women bring notebooks into the pods with them (like Diamond Jack here) to keep all of the people they were dating straight, but cast member Jessica Batten told Refinery29 she wrote outside of the pods too: "I did a lot of journaling. I wanted to remember things because every day is like a month in there and so much can change." iam_diamondjack - Instagram
Sleeping arrangements are less than ideal. "We slept in trailers and they were correctional facility beds. The design was to just strip us down from our comfort level," Kenny told Refinery29 . Oh, and they were only banking about four hours of sleep a night. Netflix
Cast members can visit the pods at any time... Some men and women would visit each other multiple times a day, because "the more they got in there, the more they have these conversations! Deep conversations that they never had with family members or friends or people they've dated," Coelen told Variety . Instagram
...and can stay as long as they want. Coelen told Variety that the longest pod session was around four to five hoursand that was only cut short by a pesky bathroom break. "They were there pretty much 24/7. It's funny because we would encourage them to take [breaks], 'You gotta eat! You gotta get some sleep!' But they didn't want to, they wanted to stay in those pods," he said. iam_diamondjack - Instagram
No phones are allowed. All of the cast members' devices are confiscated during the first two parts of the experiment, so that they could focus all of their attention on their datesand couldn't communicate with people outside of the experiment. Netflix
Wi-fi is a no-go, too... More than just phones were confiscated. There was no internet connection at all! Meaning no computers, no TV, nada. need4lspeed - Instagram
...but books are allowed. "We tried to allow them to do anything they could do on a date, without seeing or touching one another or staring at screens," Coelen told Bustle . "So if they wanted to read, we'd certainly allow it, if we could find the book for them." Interesting! Netflix
You can't be afraid to get deep. It's a vulnerable process to fall in love, especially on TV, so cast members helped each other process their emotions. "Some took longer than others, but every man there went through this 'vulnerability express'this transformation. You had to go through it. There was such a big support when you saw someone fighting the experience. We were like, 'Listen man, what's up. Let's talk about this," cast member Mark Cuevas told OprahMag.com . cameronreidhamilton - Instagram
Don't worry: The pods are soundproof. No distractions leads to better dates! "We didnt want any sound to bleed through any other pods," Coelen told Variety . "We basically had a small speaker in the front wall and you would hear the other person who was in the other pod. Theres no producers in there, theres nobody else. Its just you and the other person. That's it." chaselifewithkelly - Instagram
Nick and Vanessa Lachey aren't allowed to interfere... As hosts, Nick and Vanessa spent countless hours discussing each cast member's relationship with one another. But as hard as it may be, they weren't allowed to give advice that'd sway the cast based on their knowledge of the others. E! Entertainment - Getty Images
...and producers don't interfere either. The whole purpose of the show was for the couples to form strong emotional bonds, so the producers were there to help cast members plan special aspects of each date without impacting the outcome. "We wanted them to make the decisions and them to control their destiny," Coelen told OprahMag.com . need4lspeed - Instagram
Producers don't coach the conversations. The cast had to figure out what they wanted to talk about on their own. "They were never interrupted in terms of like a producer saying, 'Hey, talk about this, talk about that,' they just did what they wanted to do," Coelen told Variety . iam_daniellerose - Instagram
Cast members ARE allowed to describe how they look. Vanessa explained in an interview with People Now how some couples got around not knowing what the other one looked like: "I asked the girls, 'What'd you tell them?' And she's like, 'Well I said I look like this celebrity,' and I'm like 'Oh, I can see that,' and I go, 'What did he say?' And mind you, I've seen all the men. And she's like, 'Well he said he looks like this celebrity.' And I was like, 'Okayyy.'" Awkward. Netflix
Snack requests can be made... The producers tried to make the cast members as comfortable as possible, and would pick up food for the singles. We could request stuff. If you wanted a special snack they'd go run and get it. Bailey's and coffee was my go-to," Kenny told Refinery29 . Netflix
...and alcohol is provided. From wine to vodka, there were no restrictions on what the cast members were allowed to drink. Hey, have you ever been on a sober blind date? They're stressful! Netflix
You can use your time however you want. Before people narrowed down who they were dating, some cast members used their time with other people to vent about the person they were interested inand some even took naps. Instagram
Activities are encouraged. The men and women were encouraged to create dates they'd go on in the real world. "They'd say, 'I'd love to have a dinner of lasagna with this person.' So, we'd get them some lasagna!" Coelen told OprahMag.com . Others played games or serenaded their date with the ukulele. Netflix
If you don't connect with anyone, you're asked to leave. The original cast was between 40-50 people. "It became evident as the process went on, from that big group of people, that there were some people that more people were gravitating towards then others," Coelen told E! News . "There was a certain point where we did a whittling down of people just to focus internally on the people who were really connecting, to allow them more time. We ended up having maybe 20-25 people in the pods at that point." Netflix
You can propose at any time. Before the first 10 days were up, some couples knew they'd found the one and didn't need more time. At that point, cast members can propose and would see their betrothed the next day. need4lspeed - Instagram
Physical connections are tested too. After matching up in the pod, the couples were sent away on an exotic vacation in Cancun, Mexico, so that they could match their physical connection to their emotional one. Instagram
You can't tell your family you're engaged... ...until after Mexico. In the age of Instagram engagement announcements, it's counterintuitive not to share your news right away. But due to the show's no phones policy, cast members couldn't fill their families in until after they returned home from phase two of the experiment. Netflix
The singles had to live in Atlanta, Georgia. All of the singles were cast from Atlanta, where the show is filmed. "It's too difficult if you're from Tampa and they're from Portland, that just throws another wrench in. We wanted to give them a real shot at making their love and their marriage work," Coelen told Variety . However, Coelen says future seasons could be filmed in different cities. Barry Williams - Getty Images
Post-paradise they don't go back home. Instead of moving into the spaces each person lived in before the show, the couple moves into a "neutral ground" apartment that's provided by the show so that they can have a fresh start while planning their wedding. Netflix
The wedding is where you make your *final* decision. After the couples return to Atlanta, wedding planning commences. "At that point, you have to go to the altar. You have to get your wedding gown, you have to get your tux, you have to introduce your families, and go back to work. You have to live together and do the whole process and stand on the altar and either say 'I do' or 'I don't,'" Vanessa told People Now . need4lspeed - Instagram
It's up to the cast what they tell their families. "The premise of the show was not a secret, but as adults it was up to them as to when (or whether) they chose to tell their families," Coelen told Bustle . Either way, after Mexico the couples have to introduce their families to one anotherand some are more open to the experiment than others. Netflix
The show was picky with casting. The producers wanted to make sure that they were casting people who genuinely wanted long-term relationships. "There's a lot of good shows out there where people can find love, but it's not really that serious. We wanted people who are genuine about it," Coelen told Variety . However, the show's faced criticism for not straying from attractive, slim-figured individuals. Netflix
Couples have to hide their relationship status... Even though the first season just dropped on Netflix in February 2020, it was filmed in 2018. Which means the couples who found love on the show have had to keep their current status a secret for over a year?!?! Netflix
...including breakups. Not every couple had a happily ever after. But even couples who didn't say "I do" have had to wait a solid 14 months post-production to move on. carltonmorton - Instagram
Not every engaged couple is shown on the show. Eight couples got engaged on the show, but two didn't make the final cut. "Originally, we wanted to follow five couples if we had the chance to do that, we ended up following six," Coelen told E News . "We felt like we wanted to tell diverse stories frankly. We weren't sure where the stories were going to go, everybody felt like they truly found the person they wanted to spend their life with and we had an abundance of story...we just didn't have time in the show to follow them, which is incredible to me." One of the couples not shown? Danielle Drouin and Rory Newbrough . iam_daniellerose - Instagram
The show pays for PART of the weddings. "Of course production supplies some of the basics but because these are their real weddings, it's up to them as to how to spend their money," Coelen told Bustle . Netflix
The marriages are legally binding. "If they choose to get married, yes, it's a legally binding marriage," Coelen confirmed to Bustle . Hence why it's such a big decision for the couples! Netflix
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