Polet Njeri Ouma

It is very apparent that the Judiciary has been at work by the mere fact that the <a href="https://www.pulselive.co.ke/news/judiciary-rejects-request-to-suspend-the-nullification-of-bbi-constitutional/j89zz2f">BBI court ruling</a> was reached in less than 3 months.

What I do not understand is why rape and murder cases drag on for years and years in court while most cases of political interest take less than a month to rule.

How selfish can we be, how inhumane, how much more self-absorbed can we get? We see them run to bury our dead, we hear them make promises they cannot keep for their own selfish reasons yet we still fight to keep them in power. Please make it make sense.

Moi University student Ivy Wangechi who was hacked to death (Twitter)

Moi University student Ivy Wangechi who was hacked to death on Tuesday (Twitter)

Help me understand why justice has not been served on Ivy Wangechi’s case close to 2 years after her brutal murder, why <a href="https://www.pulselive.co.ke/news/what-ivy-wangechis-mother-said-during-her-daughters-burial-ceremony-at-their-home/l2nrqnm">Mrs Winfred King’ori (Ivy’s mum)</a> still has to re-live her daughter’s murder time and again.

A daughter whose <a href="https://www.pulselive.co.ke/news/naftali-kinuthia-pleads-not-guilty-in-ivy-wangecis-murder/dlsvzgr">suspected murderer was declared of sound mind</a> and made a verbal confession.

Why is it that a case that has enough eye witnesses and enough evidence, is not a priority to our judiciary?&nbsp;Make it make sense. Two weeks, I would understand, A month, reluctantly but 2 years?&nbsp;

I am disappointed

Time and again I Google just to see how far this case has come, something, anything, a spark of hope that justice will be served. Every single time, I am disappointed.

Disappointed by the fact that we have lost our humanity. Disappointed that we can stand by and watch a mother fight for justice for <a href="https://www.pulselive.co.ke/news/kinuthia-claimed-to-have-pre-planned-the-brutal-murder-of-moi-university-student-ivy/2jmh9cr">an atrocity that was carried out in broad daylight</a>. Disappointed that we hear her, see her but refuse to acknowledge her and the injustice she is currently facing.

Ivy Wangechi laid to rst in Nyeri. She scored 8 straight As in KCSE

Then we swear to pray, pray for a family that has laid their daughter to rest but still mourns fresh wounds and it’s our fault they are still mourning.

We pray for Mrs Winfred’s strength; we pray for healing. Yes, we keep praying and then in a week or two, we forget that as we fight our everyday battles, she is fighting a never-ending battle that is being made even harder by the system.

For how long are women going to be killed and our courts remain silent. Where are our gender activists? Why is the law, the country, the leadership silent when women are raped, tortured and killed left right center.

Naftali Kinuthia, the mansuspected of killing Ivy Wangechi

Why don’t we ever see the culprits brought to justice? Where are we going wrong?&nbsp;I am really hopeful that at least now that we have a number of women in the highest ranks in the judiciary who can resonate with the challenges women face fighting when they are abused, their rights trampled on and our voices go unheard.

We hope it is going to make a difference. Mrs Chief Justice Martha Koome, these cases should be a priority.&nbsp;

We have failed Ivy as a country. We have failed <a href="https://www.pulselive.co.ke/news/local/5-young-kenyan-ladies-killed-under-controversial-circumstances-in-2018/c95r2z5">Sharon Otieno, Monica Kimani</a> and every single woman who has lost her life in the hands of a man for the mere fact that she is a woman.

I’m ashamed that you still have to go through this Mama Ivy. I don’t even know if saying hang in there helps but hang in there. We are praying for and with you. We have not forgotten. I have not forgotten.&nbsp;

The foregoing is an Opinion Article submitted to Pulse Live Kenya for publication as part of the Pulse Contributors initiative.

Pulse Contributors is an initiative to highlight diverse journalistic voices. Pulse Contributors do not represent the company Pulse and contribute on their own behalf.

Should you wish to submit an Article to Pulse, do so via contributors@pulse.co.ke.

Polet Njeri Ouma is a medical intern at Hacettepe School of Medicine, Ankara - Turkey. She is a frequent blogger and YouTuber, passionate about women &amp; empowerment, Human Rights, Sexual Gender Based Violence and Gender equality. She has recently completed certified courses on Feminism and Social Justice, International Women’s Health and Human Rights and a course on African Development. She also volunteer’s with BBRC (Bridging Bridges for Refugee Children in Ankara).

Make it make sense!

The psychological torture as Ivy Wangeci’s mother fights for justice [Pulse Contributor's Opinion]

Editor's Note: This is Part 2 of an article published recently. Find Part 1 <a href="https://www.pulselive.co.ke/news/pulsecontributors-why-this-lunch-invitation-from-a-turkish-man-meant-more-with-polet/rbc531p">here</a>.

I got back home! Unlike thousands of women who don’t. I got back home safe and unharmed and yes, I showed up at Mehmet’s with a friend!

I know the word on the streets is that you shouldn’t carry your own squad to a date. Take your full squad and an extra person if it makes you feel safe.&nbsp;

Living in the school district means one thing, you see the same characters everywhere. This can be a good thing.

You build bonds, score a workout partner or two, or like in my case, call up a friend when an&nbsp;”emergency” like this comes up. Thank heavens Ellen agreed to tag along.

In my head, this wasn’t a date, it was just lunch with the bonus of getting my notes printed but I wasn’t going to show up at Mehmet’s house with company unannounced. That would be uncouth.

In Turkish, they say ‘trip atmak’ which directly translates to “throw tantrums”. It’s a word we loosely use mostly for a child who is being a nuisance.

My biggest concern was of course that he would throw baby tantrums when he heard I was bringing company or for lack of a better terminology ‘trip atacakti’.

To my surprise, he was more than willing to host both Ellen and I. In fact, there was enough food for everyone. I did feel however like he felt like this would score him some points so like a good respectful child of God, I kept calling him ‘hocam’ which means teacher.

We use hocam to show respect, to show a clear marked boundary that shouldn’t be crossed. It means I look up to you and you are my mentor. You definitely don’t want to cross this by going on a first name basis and that’s one thing I’m careful not to do.

That had to be the best steak I have had in a long time. This guy can cook! I have to give that to him.

2 things I learned about Mehmet

I came to find out Mehmet has been divorced for close to two years, he has a beautiful daughter and he actually just does boxing part time. This guy is an actual sports teacher and to me.

The fact that he is still in good terms with his ex-wife speaks volumes about him. First as a human being and most definitely as a father. (Dear deadbeat dads, do it for your children. No child deserves to grow up answering unanswered questions).

You can tell a lot about someone by just listening. Listen to how they talk about themselves (one clear way to sport a narcissist is they talk a lot about themselves), how they describe family, friends, what they do when they are free and most importantly how they engage when it comes to global issues.

At this point in my life, I would rather listen. This gave me hope. Mehmet gave me hope. There are still good guys left!

I'm black, in a foreign country

I know some of you will be skeptical about bringing a friend along, so let me address that. This isn’t my home. This isn’t my country.

I am a black girl living in a country I knew nothing about. I am a black girl!

You know what that means? It means the rules don’t apply to me.

How I dress, who I hang out with, where I hang out…it all doesn’t matter. I am judged based on a completely different hand book, my color and black skin is objectified. It’s equated to sex.

I have to be extra careful knowing the decisions I make can come back and bite me. I have to double and triple check with myself to see if some risks are worth taking. I don’t have the luxury of making wrong choices.

We women don’t. Better safe than sorry.

If you or a person you know has been the victim of sexual or gender-based violence we encourage that you report the matter at your nearest police station. For further assistance in seeking legal redress contact any of the below organizations:-

<ol><li>Gender Violence Recover Centre, Nairobi Women’s Hospital</li><li>Federation of Women Lawyers (FIDA)</li><li>The CRADLE – The Children Foundation</li><li>African Network for the Prevention and Protection Against Child Abuse and Neglect (ANPPCAN)</li><li>Advantage Africa</li><li>Coalition on Violence Against Women (COVAW)</li></ol>

Polet is a medical intern at Hacettepe School of Medicine, Ankara - Turkey. She is a frequent blogger and YouTuber, passionate about women &amp; empowerment, Human Rights, Sexual Gender Based Violence and Gender equality. She has recently completed certified courses on Feminism and Social Justice, International Women’s Health and Human Rights and a course on African Development. She also volunteer’s with BBRC (Bridging Bridges for Refugee Children in Ankara).

#PulseContributors

Ladies, here's why being a black woman living abroad makes you a target - Part 2 [Pulse Contributor's Opinion]

A few weeks ago, Lori Harvey posted an Instagram picture solidifying her relationship with Michael B. Jordan, that sent the internet into a frenzy. Something interesting that caught my eye was a comment insinuating that she had definitely read and re-read Steve Harvey’s ‘Act Like a Lady and Think Like a Man’, because the pool of men she has dated these past couple of years has been commendable.&nbsp;

In his book, Steve mentions the three ways a man shows he loves a woman {the P’s of love} namely; to protect, provide, and to profess. Now, I know you will probably roll your eyes a couple of times throughout this article (if you have not already), but believe it or not, as we all claim to be Millenials, there is a good chance some of these things worked.

act-like-a-lady-think-like-a-man-expanded-edition

When news that <a href="https://www.pulselive.co.ke/entertainment/celebrities/daddy-owen-speak-out-after-reports-went-viral-that-his-wife-farida-dumped-him-and-now/4g7w81z">Daddy Owen’s wife</a> had moved on to a tycoon and that Daddy Owen had been out of a job for a while came out, my first thought was, “...ahh! that’s another marriage down the drain.” But then this reminded me of yet something else Steve tried to explain in one of his ‘Ask Steve’ segments. Traditionally, the man of the house was the sole provider. So many cultures have gone on to maintain most of these values especially in West Africa (whether the woman works or not), while most have tried so hard to bash this very idea calling it patriarchal.

The 21st century woman is independent, decisive, a go-getter, career oriented and most of them very aggressive in reaching their dreams. But as a 21st century woman, there is still part of me that loves a man who can spoil me with love, affection, attention… you name it. I for sure, like a man I can debate with without necessarily feeling like I'm threatening his manhood.&nbsp;

According to me, a man that can calm my wild side, automatically becomes tenfold more attractive. Women love a provider (I can’t stress this enough) and this is not in the ‘nitumie pesa ya uber’ kind of way; it’s in the ‘what can I do to make this new phase of your life bearable’ kinda way.&nbsp;

Here is where a slight difference comes in, when a woman loses her job she has many different outlets, that’s just how we are. Men on the other side…withdraw. Men are instinctively meant to provide. Society expects a man to provide, black tax expects a man to hold his end of the bargain, the pressure builds up and so for a man who doesn’t handle pressure well, he crashes. This crash could entail anything from low self-esteem to violence to depression to alcoholism.&nbsp;

This pity party could take anything from a month, 6 months, or even years. Let’s not forget the woman enduring this pity party. The ideal would be to stay but we all have a threshold. Women take longer to make an exit because our bullshit tolerance is shockingly through the roof. Society has wired women to stay with cheating men because apparently men are not monogamous beings (moment of silence). So you are told to understand him as long as he comes back home to you, stay in an unhappy marriage for the children and worse off, endure abuse and pray for change. It takes a lot of balls for a woman to gather the courage to walk away. That being said, hats off to all the women out there who got out the door, however long it took. One more thing, remember we only got a tiny fraction of the story.

Therefore, whoever has no sin, let him cast the first stone.

[The opinions expressed in this article are not of Pulse Live Kenya, but of Polet Njeri Ouma]

Michael-B-Jordan-and-Lori-Harvey-pack-on-PDA-in-990x660

When news that Daddy Owen’s wife had moved on to a tycoon and that Daddy Owen had been out of a job for a while came out, my first thought was, “...ahh! that’s another marriage down the drain.”

Stop looking for excuses to slut shame women

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Polet Njeri Ouma

Articles written by the author

The psychological torture as Ivy Wangeci’s mother fights for justice [Pulse Contributor's Opinion]

Ladies, here's why being a black woman living abroad makes you a target - Part 2 [Pulse Contributor's Opinion]

Stop looking for excuses to slut shame women