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Each time I mix the effervescent orange powder into my water (I prefer it to the chewables or gummies), Im filled with a glass-half-full kind of attitude. Emergen-C makes me feel proactivenot to mention efficient. I would never dream of consuming 10 oranges in a single day, and yet thats apparently the amount of vitamin C in *one* packet of Emergen-C.

In addition to containing 1,000 milligrams of vitamin C (the recommended daily dose for adults is anywhere from 75 to 90 milligrams, according to the <a href="https://ods.od.nih.gov/factsheets/VitaminC-Consumer/" id="db8873a6-ba54-3640-a6ef-afa3b8429e1a"> National Institutes of Health </a> ), the supplement is full of B vitamins and antioxidants which the brands website claims support the immune system while enhancing energy levels. But can Emergen-C really keep sickness at bay? Or is it just another case of clever marketing forces at work?

<h1> First, let's look at the ingredients in Emergen-C. </h1>

The main ingredients advertised in Emergen-C and many <a href="https://www.womenshealthmag.com/health/a19995662/immune-boosting-supplements/" id="0afd8ef2-f7ca-3274-ac9b-859d6366f1b3"> immune-boosting supplements </a> are v itamin C and z inc . What I believed was the obvious draw with Emergen-C (or any immune booster like this kind, including Airborne, or Nuun immunity tablets) was the vitamin C for cold prevention. But while vitamin C has the reputation of being a savior if you're getting or already have a cold, there isn't actually much scientific evidence to back either of those claims up.

It's true that vitamins, including vitamin C, are crucial for our daily functioning and are healthy to consume. But if you already have a cold, it won't actually help shorten the duration of a cold very much (no cure exists for the common cold!)maybe a day, tops, according to <a href="https://www.health.harvard.edu/cold-and-flu/can-vitamin-c-prevent-a-cold" id="53a416b2-9d45-3c81-af8b-155d0f9e04ea"> Harvard Health </a> .

Emergen-C is a vitamin C supplement, and theres no evidence that it benefits people with the cold or influenza or [that it] affects your propensity to get the cold or the flu, says <a href="http://www.centerforhealthsecurity.org/our-people/adalja/" id="de81013a-2f3d-3dc5-a5e2-75308aebb692"> Amesh Adalja </a> , MD, an infectious disease physician and a senior scholar at the Johns Hopkins Center for Health Security.

Dr. Adalja adds that its misguided to think that vitamin C is a panacea for respiratory viruses. Supplements arent evaluated by the FDA, and he worries that if people depend too much on vitamin C supplements or believe they will cure a cold or flu, it could steer people away from the number one preventive measure: <a href="https://www.womenshealthmag.com/health/a18708943/flu-shot-side-effects/" id="2f998d15-d243-3fab-a7b5-bd53e703b9da"> the flu vaccine </a> .

What about the other biggie ingredient zinc, you're wondering? Study results are mixed, but the short answer is that zinc probably doesnt prevent or treat a cold, , a family medicine doctor at Mayo Clinic in Jacksonville, Florida, <a href="https://www.womenshealthmag.com/health/a28748149/zinc-for-colds/" id="2f91dc4f-3cce-398e-a464-24a8a48cc3ce"> previously told </a> WH. Theres very limited evidence that zinc may help shorten a cold but only by a day or so as well, and you have to start taking it right at the onset of symptoms.

Unfortunately, theres no vaccine or magic fix for the common cold because its caused by a host of viruses. Practicing good hygiene and getting ample sleep are your best bets to kick a coldand even then there are no guarantees, according to Dr. Adalja. Once youre sick, however, there are over-the-counter medications like Dayquil and Nyquil that can help mediate your symptoms, he points out.

<h1> That doesn't mean you have to stop taking vitamin C or other immune boosters if you enjoy the ritual of it, though. </h1>

Most Americans are vitamin C replete, meaning they're already well-supplied with it for the most part via their diet, "so giving them extra vitamin C isnt going to have any benefits, explains Dr. Adalja. Vitamin C is water-soluble, so excess of the vitamin doesn't get stored in the body and will be flushed out via your pee. This means that you won't harm yourself by taking more vitamin C than you need.

Indeed, the only time he would promote the use of a vitamin C supplement for the average American is if they ate hardly any fruits or veggies and were at risk of becoming deficient in a key vitamin (and you'd really only know this for sure via a workup from your doctor).

But on the fizzy orange bright side: Dr. Adalja says theres no harm in taking Emergen-C or other vitamin C/immunity supplements. Although supplements in general are not regulated by the FDA, as mentioned, so-called immune-boosting supplements with these ingredients generally don't come with side effects. The caveat: If you overdo it on zinc in particular, it may lead to anemia or nervous-system damage, WH reported previously. So be sure to stick to the recommended serving size for these cold supps.

<h1> Heads up, though: Emergen-C isnt as effective if its expired. </h1>

Remember, there is no evidence that Emergen-C, or any other immune booster that combines vitamins and minerals, is an effective treatment for a cold, flu or infectious virus (think: COVID-19), according to Frederick Hecht, MD, Professor of Medicine at University of California, San Francisco. The vitamins, minerals, and antioxidants in Emergen-C can be easily obtained in a healthy diet that includes fruits and vegetables, according to Hecht. "And whole foods are likely to have other health benefits that cant easily be extracted into a small packet of powder," the doctor adds.

But if you are going to use Emergen-C to give your immune system a helping hand, make sure to check the expiration date firstespecially if it's been sitting in that medicine cabinet for a bit. While vitamins and minerals do not pose health risks if they are outdated, some of them may deteriorate over time. "Which means that you will not get the full amount of vitamin labeled on the package," Dr. Hecht says.

The bottom line: If it makes you happy to ingest a vitamin C immune-boosting supplement like Emergen-C and you feel like you're doing something good for your body, you're sticking to a serving size, and you're still getting your flu vaccine each year, theres no need to kick your habit. After all, theres something to be said for adding a daily dose of optimism to your diet when you're feeling under the weather. Just make sure that you're also keeping up with other best practices for good hygiene and never (!!) underestimate the value of <a href="https://www.womenshealthmag.com/health/a31230341/how-long-should-you-wash-hands/" id="76112295-f343-37c3-abd7-b966a583fe59"> washing your hands </a> .

Does Emergen-C Work To Keep You From Getting Sick?

Before I had my son, I would get sick twice a year and it was no big deal. Surprise, surprise: Its a lot easier to avoid the common cold when you dont have a germy toddler coughing in your mouth. Nowadays, little stands between a hot new virus and me, and as such, drinking <a href="https://www.emergenc.com/offers?utm_source=google&amp;utm_term=emergenc&amp;utm_campaign=EMc%3Ab%3Acore%3AExact%3AGoogle&amp;utm_medium=Search&amp;gclid=CjwKCAiA3OzvBRBXEiwALNKDPxZ9kr4-xS3hm6QVWvLuSwCKEp7ZKoDv91Eup...

Ultimately, if it makes you happy to ingest a vitamin C immune-boosting supplement like Emergen-C and you feel like you're doing something good for your body, you're sticking to a serving size, and you're still getting your flu vaccine each year, theres no need to kick your habit. After all, theres something to be said for adding a daily dose of optimism to your diet when you're feeling under the weather.

Wheatgrass shots in particular have been around for a while, but recently juice bars have expanded their wellness shot selection to include ingredients like ginger, turmeric, <a href="https://www.womenshealthmag.com/beauty/a19932717/beauty-uses-for-vinegar/" id="ea76dc7c-a279-39e7-a11b-bb54d667e0b0"> apple cider vinegar </a> , aloe, and matcha. These 2-ounce health tonics cost around $4 to $5 and are basically condensed versions of cold-pressed juices.

They say the best things in life come in tiny packages (hello, diamonds!), and juice bars and health bloggers alike are touting wellness shots as being a quick and easy solution for incorporating vital vitamins, minerals, and antioxidants into ones diet. Theres an undeniable halo of health around them, but are wellness shots worth drinking regularly? Before opening my wallet to another wellness trend, I spoke with <a href="http://www.essencenutritionmiami.com" id="dab8308e-729a-3974-ab64-c86d352fc1fd"> Monica Auslander Moreno </a> , MS, RDN, of <a href="http://www.essencenutritionmiami.com" id="08d97309-fe5d-379d-ad77-e27b03323646"> Essence Nutrition </a> , to get my facts straight.

<h1> Are wellness shots actually good for you? </h1>

Well, they aren't bad for you. But they also probably won't make any game-changing impact on your health, either. I dont have tremendous faith in wellness shots in general for any purposeI dont care if its wheatgrass, or kale; these tiny amounts do not a healthy diet or a healthy person make, says Moreno. In lieu of drinking wellness shots, which have no measurable benefits even when taken daily, Moreno would rather people make homemade salads and focus on eating real food.

That being said, if your diet is lacking in fruits, vegetables, and spices, theres no harm in drinking certain types of wellness shots so long as none of the ingredients have negative interactions with your medications, says Moreno. As a general rule, she suggests making your own concoctions in lieu of store bought varieties in order to save money and avoid unnecessary sugars in the form of additives like orange juice or apple juice.

<h1> Can wellness shots do anything to help when I have a cold? </h1>

When Moreno is sick with a cold or feels one coming on, she makes her own emulsion of turmeric, black pepper, garlic, oregano, and Manuka honey. Sometimes it helps, sometimes it doesnt. But its the only time youll find her drinking any type of wellness shot.

Immunity and nutrition as a whole is so complex that its absurd to relay on any one, two, or even three ingredients to cure our ailments, she says. With enough rest, our immune systems should have the capacity to fight off whatever is plaguing us.

People want to literally bottle up something and buy it and think, 'Health!' says Moreno. But if it makes you feel good (even if it's just placebo) and isn't hurting you or interacting with medication, knock yourself out.

<h1> What are the best wellness shots if I want to give them a try? </h1>

For anyone still considering incorporating wellness shots into your routine (and again, it's up to you if you think you need to supplement your produce intake!), Moreno helped me break down the nutrition information behind the most popular health boosters.

Turmeric is the talk of the town because it contains curcumin, a potent compound known for its ability to reduce inflammation. Turmeric has been well-studied as an anti-inflammatory for muscular and connective tissue repair and can help alleviate gastrointestinal inflammation.

Moreno actually recommends it to athletes and individuals with Crohns disease, ulcers, and colitis. As a Crohns sufferer herself, she knows its not going to cure her condition, but given that research suggests it may help mediate symptoms, she likes to sprinkle it on her food.

Okay, but will talking a daily shot of turmeric fight inflammation in the body? Dont have any expectations, she cautions. One important thing to note about turmeric is, in order for it to become activated, the spice needs to be consumed with black pepper. So if youre looking to turmeric as an anti-inflammatory, Moreno says make sure your wellness shot and/or food contains black pepper as well. You may also want to reconsider those pricey turmeric lattes (unless of course you just enjoy the tastethen by all means drink up!).

Known for its ability to ease nausea, bloating, and vomiting, ginger is an anti-inflammatory that may help alleviate muscle cramping and menstrual pain. It also contains strong antioxidants that can benefit overall skin health. But while eating some ginger or drinking a shot with ginger as a primary ingredient may offer fast help for that nauseous feeling, it's not totally clear just how much ginger you would need to eat regularly to reap skin benefits, for instance.

In general, ginger doesnt have any contraindications, but it might not feel good in your body if you have reflux, says Moreno. A shot of ginger is unlikely to cause any harm, but since its super spicy, its often diluted with water, coconut water, or sugary orange juice. Nobody needs to drink orange juice, so consider [the fact that] youre paying for a shot of sugar with some spicy extract, she says.

3. Apple Cider Vinegar

Can a shot of apple cider vinegar a day really help keep weight gain at bay? Moreno says its fake news. ACV can have very mild effects on blood sugars and satiety, but its not significant enough to [warrant taking] shots of it, she explains. Whats more, drinking it straight up is ill-advised because it can corrode your esophagus. And if youre pregnant, Moreno says steer clear of unpasteurized ACV, which is often what youll find at juice bars.

Wheatgrass is loaded with vitamins A, C, and E and is rich in iron, magnesium, calcium, and amino acids.

But at the end of the day, its just another plant, and all plants have vitamins, minerals, fiber and phytochemicals, explains Moreno. I dont know how it became a thing; people must think, 'if its green Im going to drink it'but I would rather eat a salad, she says.

The bottom line: Wellness shots are really just mini green juices. You can get enough vitamins and antioxidants from food if you're eating lots of produce in a well-balanced diet, so you don't *need* to spend money on wellness shots. But if they taste delicious to you and just make you feel good, by all means.

Are Wellness Shots Actually Good For You?

As a tired mom of a germ-spreading toddler, Im constantly on the hunt for a miracle potion that will <a href="https://www.womenshealthmag.com/health/a19954914/flu-treatment/" id="084ae10f-a3cf-3cdb-a3bb-89895d743705"> boost my immunity </a> , <a href="https://www.womenshealthmag.com/health/a25617294/how-to-get-more-energy-fast/" id="51b017f3-0efa-3a38-a1cd-cf44dda2ce67"> restore my energy </a> , and <a href="https://www.womenshealthmag.com/beauty/a19976747/glowing-skin-on-a-budget/" id="c12...

Are Wellness Shots With Turmeric, Ginger, Or ACV Actually Good For You? An RD Weighs In

Postpartum anxiety affects an estimated <a href="https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S0165032715311320" id="a8ef93ba-7fde-308a-ac8c-eb5413ec9a44"> 15 percent </a> of women (though that number varies a bit in the scientific research). This suggests that it's just as <a href="https://www.postpartumdepression.org/resources/statistics/" id="a90ce6dd-f738-379c-a484-8241005d91ab"> common as PPD </a> , which has been shown to affect anywhere from <a href="http://psychotherapy.com/mom.html" id="dad19837-74c1-36e2-a357-0d86f192aaa4"> 10 to 20 percent </a> of new moms.

But postpartum anxiety and postpartum depression are closely related. Historically, medical experts and resources have used as an umbrella term for a whole host of mood disorders that can occur in the postpartum period, including (OCD), psychosis, and anxiety, explains , PsyD, a licensed clinical psychologist who specializes in perinatal mood and anxiety disorders.

The problem with grouping them all together, though, is that it may be confusing to some women who feel off during or after pregnancy but dont feel like they have symptoms depression. Theres no one-size-fits-all diagnosis, but having a better understanding of what sets postpartum anxiety and depression apart as well as how they overlap is an important step toward getting mamas proper mental health treatment in the perinatal period.

<h1> First, a quick refresher on what postpartum depression generally looks like: </h1>

Many new moms experience what is casually referred to as the baby blues-a period of feeling sad, irritated, angry, annoyed, hopeless, and/or resentful during the first couple of weeks following childbirth. (Hello, you just had a baby, and its a LOT.) You may feel like crying for no reason, be unsure about raising your baby, or have trouble sleeping, the American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists ( ) explains. These feelings can come and go in waves, but ultimately they should resolve pretty much on their own within a week or two after welcoming your baby.

So then how is PPD different from the baby blues? PPD may last up to a year after having your baby, and it generally requires more formal treatment (like therapeutic or medical interventions). Fun fact: The latest issue of the <a href="https://www.postpartum.net/wp-content/uploads/2014/11/DSM-5-Summary-PSI.pdf" id="86a11c71-b0e3-3bc1-af8a-2dea59bd289b"> Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders </a> (which is like the medical Bible of mental health disorders), includes a "with postpartum onset" specifier in its section on major depressive disorder (MDD) to more deliberately represent postpartum depression as its own condition. It was kinda lumped in under MDD until fairly recently.

Women with PPD frequently report having an intense feeling of being overwhelmed by motherhood and may even question whether they shouldve become a mom in the first place, Orlowsky describes. Another recurring thread, she says, is just not feeling like yourself, or feeling out of control without knowing why.

Shes also had patients who report feeling nothing, or being emotionally numb; theyre simply going through the motions without any interest in their babies, or life in general. Some moms may harbor thoughts of harming herself or her baby. As you can see, postpartum depression is pretty complex and can look very different from person to person. (Oh, and , too.)

Its worth pointing out that with any pregnancy-related mood disorders, the term postpartum can be misleading. Thats because symptoms can pop up during your pregnancy or after you give birth. So, you may also hear perinatal used, which more generally implies the time before and after childbirth.

<h1> Symptoms of postpartum anxiety are a little different. </h1>

Postpartum anxiety isn't listed as its own thing and doesn't have a specifier in the DSM. But your doctor might still use the term to describe how you're feeling and to diagnose you-it's a standard term in the medical world.

Orlowsky describes PPD as a loss of heart, and postpartum anxiety-or -as a loss of a normal sense of balance and calm. Women with postpartum anxiety specifically arent necessarily dealing with depression.

Rather, women with postpartum anxiety on its own may feel as if they are in a constant state of arousal, agitation, and worry, she explains. They may feel unable to quiet their mind no matter how hard they try, or have trouble sitting still or getting to sleep.

The term postpartum can be misleading.

Some moms with postpartum anxiety have disturbing what if? thoughts about bad things happening to the baby. They may be afraid to get into the car with their child, or are uncomfortable leaving him or her with anyone else. Moms who suffer from intrusive thoughts like this may not be able to respond to reason, Orlowsky notes. (For instance, even though deep down you *know* your partner is home with the baby while you go out to run errands and everythings okay, you might be compelled to turn back and go through a safety checklist again.)

Like its relative PPD, postpartum anxiety is treatable. That being said, because PPD has been studied and discussed at much greater lengths, many moms with postpartum anxiety , and it often goes undiagnosed. Another reason moms with postpartum anxiety dont realize they have a problem or delay seeking help is because they dont know how much anxiety is to be expected or normal, versus how much is too much-even for a new mom.

<h1> You can have symptoms of postpartum depression or postpartum anxiety, or a mix of the two. </h1>

Physical symptoms of PPD are similar to those of perinatal anxiety and typically include changes in sleep and appetite, nausea, headaches, body aches, and dizziness. You can predominantly have symptoms of depression with tell-tale signs of anxiety mixed in, or the opposite.

The relationship between the two disorders isn't fully understood, per the <a href="https://womensmentalhealth.org/posts/is-it-postpartum-depression-or-postpartum-anxiety-whats-the-difference/" id="291cb5e2-f814-3558-a849-ebe2ce877527"> Massachusetts General Hospital Center for Women's Mental Health </a> says. Its unclear whether having postpartum anxiety is more likely to bring on PDD, or vice versa, Orlowsky says. In one scenario, a mom can be depressed and also consumed with worrisome thoughts regarding her babys safety. On the flip side, a moms anxiety may become so cumbersome that it leads her to have depression symptoms as well.

Women with PPD or anxiety (or a combo) might feel guilty or ashamed about their inability to embrace motherhood. As a result, they might have a hard time being among other moms, friends, and family members. But social isolation can end up deepening the pain of it: Postpartum depression and anxiety are so draining [that] moms dont want to be around other people-but thats precisely what they need, Orlowsky says.

It may not seem like distinguishing between the two really matters, but it does. Perinatal mood disorders are not black and white for every person, and that's totally okay. But being able to describe your symptoms to your doctor, whether they take the form of anxiety or depression or seem to be some hybrid, helps your physician tailor a treatment plan to fit your needs.

<h1> If you think you have postpartum depression and/or anxiety, these are your next steps. </h1>

If you just feel off, and feelings of anxiousness or depression are making you unable to function properly from day to day for longer than two weeks, you likely need to seek out professional help.

But if youre not ready for that step (hey, no judgment), start by sharing how youre feeling someone you trust. This can be a friend, family member, doula, or a medical professional. You dont have to be able to diagnose yourself, but you know when you have a cold versus the flu, Orlowsky explains. (In other words, you have the best sense of what feels normal or not for you.)

Ideally, your pediatrician or obstetrician has screening measures in place to assess whether you are exhibiting symptoms of postpartum depression or anxiety, after which they can refer you to a clinician who specializes in perinatal mood and anxiety disorders.

Whats more, if you have dealt with anxiety and/or depression during a previous pregnancy or were diagnosed with both or either one of these conditions prior to having kids-its important to address that with your obstetrician. A woman who has had PPD or postpartum anxiety in a previous pregnancy is 50 percent more likely to develop it in a subsequent pregnancy, according to Orlowsky. That said, you may not have had either with your first child (or multiple children) but could still develop it during subsequent pregnancies.

Treatment absolutely exists for both postpartum anxiety and postpartum depression-and you deserve it. Some women may benefit from one-on-one therapy and/or support groups when dealing with PPD and/or anxiety, while others may also require medication. When Orlowsky thinks a patient could benefit from medication, she refers them to a reproductive psychiatrist.

If youre a new or expectant parent, or even just thinking about starting a family, youve probably heard at least a little bit about postpartum depression (PPD). But what often gets glossed over in the conversation surrounding maternal mental health is the postpartum anxiety component.

What's The Difference Between Postpartum Anxiety And Postpartum Depression?

You see, unlike <a href="https://www.womenshealthmag.com/relationships/a19995671/relationships-survive-cheating/" id="7bf01a13-495a-3092-a56d-3834c8c98052"> physical cheating </a> , an emotional affair can never be blamed on alcohol or one poor decision. You just cant foster a deep attachment with someone overnight, explains <a href="https://www.drmelissatherapy.com" id="c1d55ce1-a68d-37dc-a622-7bd24f8bc5d3"> Melissa Schacter, PhD </a> , a licensed marriage and family therapist.

Theres no fixed definition for emotional cheating, Schacter notes, because its a concept that keeps evolving. She thinks each couple is an expert in their own relationship and gives her patients the freedom to decide what constitutes as emotional betrayal based on the rules and boundaries theyve set for themselves.

Is betrayal forgivable? These celebs think so...

That said, Schacter views emotional infidelity as having three components: an emotional connection, secrecy, and an element of eroticism.

A close, platonic friendship is one thing. But if youre in a monogamous relationship and you find yourself exchanging daily texts with, say, a coworker (emotional connection) that you dont want you partner to see (secrecy), and the thought of kissing him or her excites you (eroticism)-you may be veering into emotional-affair territory.

And sadly, according to Schacter, its now easier than ever to start an emotional affair, because cell phones and social media make people accessible 24/7 (and make those conversations, well, private).

So...how do you know if your partner is emotionally cheating on you? Are there any signs? In short, yes-though theyre less obvious than a forgotten thong or a lipstick-stained tee shirt.

<h1> Signs Your Partner Is Cheating On You </h1>

<h1> 1. They don't want you anywhere near their phone. </h1>

If your partner is suddenly positioning themselves away from you while using their phone-or gets annoyed when you go anywhere near it-they may be...dun-dun-dun...trying to hide something.

A noticeable increase in texting and social media use can also be reason to be wary of emotional infidelity. But if they're now stashing their phone in their pocket or bringing it to the bathroom when they used to leave it chilling on the couch, that's even more suspect.

<h1> 2. They're acting...different. </h1>

On that note, any obvious change in your partners behavior may be worth investigating, says Schacter. This applies regardless of whether theyre spending significantly more time on Facebook, or if they suddenly want to hit the gym alone instead of as a couple.

A clear change in behavior doesn't necessarily mean they're emotionally cheating, but it does mean something is likely up.

<h1> 2. Theyre sharing a lot less. </h1>

In a healthy relationship, its important to talk openly about whats going on in each others lives, even if its just boring day-to-day stuff. So if your partner stops sharing stuff with you and is fielding questions with third-grader answers ("fine," "nothing," "okay"), it could be a red flag.

They may be avoiding you because they know theyve done something wrong. Or, it could be slightly worse than that: They might be spending so much time communicating with whomever theyre emotionally cheating with that theyre all chatted out by the time they come home. Oof.

Sure, it's totally possible that your partner could be going through a rough patch at work and prefers to spare you the gory details. But again, if his or her behavior seems atypical, its best to trust your gut and talk about it, Schacter says.

<h1> 3. You no longer feel like a priority. </h1>

Unlike a one-night stand, an emotional affair requires time and energy from the person involved in it, given its intimate nature. So if you begin to feel like an afterthought instead of a priority, it could be that your partner is too preoccupied with someone else.

For instance, if youre out together and they seem distracted and/or are glued to their phone without a legit explanation, that's...a problem.

The same can be said if your partner has gotten into the habit of canceling plans with you at the last minute (especially if its to hang out with one person in particular).

Ask yourself if youre being treated fairly and whether your partners behavior seems off, says Schacter. If you can honestly say no to the first part and yes to the second, its time to address that with them.

<h1> 4. Theyre not as interested in sex. </h1>

So your other half no longer initiates in the bedroom or appears disconnected during the act? That's a possible cause for concern, particularly if you're unaware of any major issues currently going on in their life.

Whether its intercourse, <a href="https://www.womenshealthmag.com/sex-and-love/a23399031/kissing-position/" id="3bb3cff6-00a1-3453-ad00-8e6b8c3ddc1d"> kissing </a> , or holding hands, physical intimacy is a huge and vital part of a successful relationship, and any sudden change in that department may be a sign of a bigger problem.

In certain cases, an emotional affair can be a gateway to sex because its a logical next step, Schacter explains. However, for some, emotional cheating might be purely about how another person makes them feel (and thus a physical relationship isn't on the table).

But either scenario is, obviously, really hurtful.

<h1> What To Do If You Think Your Partner Is Emotionally Cheating </h1>

Okay, so theres been a noticeable shift in the relationship and you find yourself nodding along to this list (so sorry). Now what?

For a lot of people, the natural default is to play detective, but its best to avoid being accusatory when approaching your other half about your suspicions, Schacter says.

Instead, she recommends you act curious and start the dialogue by <a href="https://www.womenshealthmag.com/relationships/a19973153/questions-to-ask-partner/" id="813eb23a-414c-32af-ab11-585b702bd948"> asking questions </a> related to **just** your relationship. A few solid options:

<ul><li> "How do you feel about our relationship? Are you happy?" </li></ul>

<ul><li> "Do you feel like theres something missing between us?" </li></ul>

If they say everything is A-okay and they're happy-but you're still concerned-a couples' therapist can provide the necessary tools to help you work through the issue in a productive manner.

<h1> The Aftermath Of Emotional Cheating: Cause For A Breakup? </h1>

Truth: Staying in or ending the relationship is entirely up to you. If your person is willing to have an honest conversation and take responsibility for their transgression, Schacter says its totally possible to move past it.

And while healing and forgiveness take time, a couple can learn from this type of crisis-and even strengthen their bond. (Communication goes a long way.)

Also worth noting: Emotional cheating doesnt **automatically** mean theres an underlying issue in the relationship.

People dont cheat only because theyre looking to fill a void, explains Schacter. Sometimes they are happy with their partners but are craving a little novelty or want to be reminded of a certain time in their life.

So if you find yourself with someone in the middle of an emotional affair, it doesn't mean your relationship is doomed.

It just means your bond could use some work...but both partners-and zero third parties-need to be fully involved.

Signs Your Partner Is Having An Emotional Affair

Your partner may be cheating on you without so much as laying lips on someone else. They might be emotionally cheating on you, which may sound like a lesser evil, but-make no mistake-can be way worse than traditional (read: physical) infidelity.

Exactly How To Tell If Your Partner Is Emotionally Cheating On You

Of course, if you've never heard of the concept of attachment styles, you might be surprised to learn what yours is-and that it's the real reason you keep texting that guy who's definitely <a href="https://www.womenshealthmag.com/relationships/a26578176/curving-dating-trend/" id="fb3d5180-6ed5-3f4c-a0c9-40351af42046"> curving </a> you.

And while you might've gotten this far living in ignorant bliss, understanding your attachment style can improve your existing relationships (including non-romantic ones) or ward off future heartbreak by helping you identify and subsequently change negative behaviors.

<h1> First things first: What is attachment theory? </h1>

In the 1960s, psychiatrist John Bowlby formulated attachment theory after studying how infants reacted when separated from their primary caregiver (usually their mothers). He then classified their behavior by assigning it an attachment style, meaning a pattern in the way a person relates to others.

From his research, Bowlby highlighted the significance of the parent-child dynamic and determined three predominant attachment styles-secure, anxious, and avoidant-that went on to impact adult relationships. Here's what you need to know about each attachment style:

In childhood: A child who grows up having a secure attachment with their parent/caregiver generally feels content, safe, and explorative.

They behave this way because they trust their needs will be met by their caregiver who is readily available and consistent in their responses towards them. Simply put, a securely attached child "is confident when their caregiver leaves and happy when they return," says <a href="https://www.drmelissatherapy.com/" id="6c8d98bc-147f-31af-a914-ffd9d6069aba"> Dr. Melissa Schacter </a> , DMFT, a licensed psychotherapist in South Florida.

In adult relationships: If you have a secure attachment style, you tend to be more satisfied in your relationships because you feel connected to your partner, while still enjoying the freedom to pursue your own interests and friendships. A securely attached person isnt jealous or possessive because they have confidence in themselves and in their relationship, so they don't feel the need to constantly check in on their significant other. When two secure people get together, that's basically a match made in attachment style heaven, according to Dr. Schacter, because striking a balance between intimacy and independence is vital in a healthy relationship.

In childhood: This attachment style is synonymous with a child whos emotionally distant and reluctant to discover his or her surroundings. Their caregiver is disengaged and often fails to provide them with the attention they require. Consequently, the child subconsciously believes they will be let down by their caregiver.

In adult relationships: Anxiously attached adults are emotionally starved and desperate for an unrealistic type of closeness. If you have an anxious attachment style, you likely expect your partner to "complete" you. Your desire to feel secure can overwhelm your partner, and they may pull away. Their distant response only confirms your anxiously-attached feelings of insecurity (fun!), so the cycle continues, says Schacter.

Jealousy and possessiveness are typically attributed to anxiously attached people. So, you often feel threatened when your partner spends time with friends or does anything without you. In the worst possible cases, Schacter says physical and/or emotional abuse can arise in such relationships because one person is trying to control the other.

In childhood: A child gets an avoidant attachment style when their caregiver is neglectful and inconsistent. In time, the child loses trust in them and decides to completely detach. Avoidants are highly independent from a young age because experience has taught them the only people they can fully rely on are themselves.

In adult relationships: If you're a person with an avoidant attachment style, you generally don't like it when others depend on you and don't want to depend on others. Your quest for independence can often be construed as an attempt to avoid attachment altogether.

In Schacter's experience, partners of avoidants frequently complain about a lack of intimacy and a close connection. If this sounds like you, you probably have a hard time trusting anyone, which makes it hard for you to open up and relate to others.

<h1> Why is it important to identify your attachment style? </h1>

Schacter uses the principles of attachment theory with her patients, regardless of whether theyre single or attached. Never been in a romantic relationship? No problem. She suggests looking at your friendships for insight into your attachment style and to use that information to avoid problems later in life.

If you have a secure attachment style, you're probably not worried about how it affects your relationship. But even if you're anxious or avoidant, the good news is that you're not stuck with the attachment style you formed as a child.

"It can change and develop," Schacter explains. "And you can work on it through self-awareness, education, and therapy." In her practice, Schacter relies on the three main attachment styles to work with her clients. Still, she says none are as black or white as they seem because psychology is full of grey areas.

<h1> Can you change your attachment style? </h1>

When counseling couples, Schacter helps them identify their attachment style(s) so they can improve their communication and respond to one another in a more sensitive manner. For example, when an anxiously attached person is fighting with their partner about unanswered texts, the other person can speak to whats really going on and say: "I know you might be feeling a little fearful or anxious that I didnt call you, but I want to remind you that I love you." This addresses the underlying issue, rather than getting lost in irrelevant details.

Wondering if your feelings about your partner will change over time? Here's how to tell:

Plus, your attachment style can change as you get to know your partner better, explains Schacter. "Theres normal developmental stuff in a relationship, and your attachment style can vary depending on your life stage and/or whom youre with," she says. In a new relationship, for instance, its normal to have some anxious attachment initially because you dont know each other. Ideally, that will change into secure attachment as your relationship becomes more solid.

Even if it's not that simple, whats ultimately important is knowing that, with the right motivation and support, you can always develop a healthy attachment style.

If your dating life hasn't gone exactly how you imagined over the years, don't blame yourself-at least, not entirely. Your attachment style plays a key role in determining the health of your relationships, and well... some are healthier than others.

Why You Need To Know Your Attachment Style For A Healthy Relationship

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Valeria Nekhim Lease

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