Guys, can we talk about car sex? Just for a second…or maybe a couple of minutes, I promise not to bore you to death.
In this age of ‘hookup’ culture and side chicks, it’s not uncommon to see people getting down and dirty in the car. It’s efficient. The man doesn’t have to pay for a hotel room. He will just park his car somewhere and get his much-needed orgasm and as for you sis, you will be left cleaning yourself with wet wipes. It’s a free world though, people are free to exchange body fluids wherever they wish. It's up to you to know whether you're worthy of a nice hotel room or not. It's all about standards. Anyway, I just wanted to tell you why car sex sucks, if you don’t mind.
1. Looking for a safe and secret parking spot will be quite a task.
I mean, you have the basement option, but still, it’s never safe enough.
2. You are most likely going to get caught! Squeaky noises coming from a bouncing car? C’mon! We all know that those are not two adults discussing a proposal.
3. Taking off the clothes will be an extreme sport, ladies, especially if you’re wearing skinny jeans!
4. How many positions can you try? Cause, clearly, the back seat, or a slanted seat is still not enough space. Unless, you own a van.
5. You are probably going to hit your head on the car roof several times and honk by mistake.
6. And on the window too! In fact, chances are, you might break something, like the rear-view mirror.
7. Not forgetting the possibility of hitting the handbrake by mistake and before you know it, the car is moving with two people in it, butt naked.
8. It’s probably going to be way too hot in there and you will both be sweating like pigs.
9. And if the car has leather seats, your butt will be all sweaty and the seat, wet and slippery.
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10. Your legs will get crampy as fuck. Because, what is space?
11. The end result might be very messy.
The car smelling like raw sex, cum all over, (if you have no idea what Durex is) and dirty wet wipes. Urgh!
12. It can only be a quickie. You really don’t have options here.
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