A woman has revealed how she forgave her husband for infecting her with HIV, contracted after he visited gay saunas throughout their marriage.

Barbera Aimes thought the “pesky cold” she came down with in winter 2011 would blow over. But as the New Year dawned the now-59-year-old, of Boulder, Colorado, USA, felt worse and worse, eventually nearly dying.

She subsequently learned her husband John Aimes, 55, had been visiting gay saunas throughout their marriage – and had contracted the illness from an unknown man.

Bathhouse

“It’s not uncommon for straight men to go to a gay bathhouse. He loved the attention. He was not getting anything from me,” she admitted.

She said they did have sex in this period, but it was “perfunctory” and “as a good looking man” he wanted approval from elsewhere.

“I want people to look at their own relationships and see how they are reacting to problems unconsciously,” she continued.

“He said he would go to the bath-house and come back and feel icky and awful. Like an alcoholic. You go to get your happy on but afterwards you get an awful hangover.”

Truthgate

During a brutal encounter, which Barbera calls “truthgate”, John confessed that he had been seeing other men – and his first illicit encounter was just six months after they wed.

But, remarkably, the couple are still together – and happier than ever.

Now, Barbera sees the entire situation as a “gift”, and admitted she was partly responsible for what happened.