If you are single out of choice, thank heavens. Some women out there have all that a man would want in a woman. They got a good job, the looks, the character, and whatever it is that men admire in women but still, they are single. Not out of choice, not because they are waiting to be of age, but because they have chosen to be honest.
No man wants me because I have fibroid – struggle of 31-year-old
Wanasema sitawahi zaa
When Laura (not her real name) is approached by a guy, she always ensures that she is honest enough. It’s not easy to reveal to a man that you have fibroids and it takes a lot of courage and strength. Despite all that, Laura makes sure that she opens up about her condition to the men who show interest in her. Sadly, her boldness and honesty have only left her single. At 31 years, no man wants to date her due to her condition.
She tells Pulse Live, “Fibroids have affected my life so much. It’s my second year being single. When a dude approaches me and I tell him I have fibroids, he never talks to me again. I remember there was a time a dude approached me and when I told him I have fibroids he told me he can't date me because maybe I will never bear him children. I was so sad but I had to let go. I appreciate my parents, brothers, sisters and my extended family at large for being there for me. It’s through their support financially, physically and spiritually that I am moving on strongly with my life. I had lost hope and felt like I am a looser but through their encouragement and prayers I stood up again”.
Pregnancy and fibroids
When it started, Laura had no idea that she had fibroids until she got pregnant. The news caught her unaware since her tummy was always flat and she had never had any complications before.
“I never knew I had fibroids until I got pregnant. I had an infection, went to the hospital but the infection didn't heal. I underwent several tests and a scan whose results revealed that I was one month pregnant with fibroids. I was shocked because I always had a flat tummy so I wondered where the fibroids had been hiding.” She narrates
By her third month of pregnancy, her condition had gotten worse. She had so much pain that she couldn’t even stand. Her legs would swell and the lower abdomen hurt so bad. With the help of the painkillers, the pain would come and go. Her only hope was that things would get better. But they never did.
Loss of baby
“In my fourth month, I was admitted in the hospital, put on warfarin and heparin for two weeks but the condition became worse. I was referred to Bomu Hospital and was to be admitted but the bill would be very high. So, the doctor put me on home medication and I was given warfarin and clexane. After a week I was okay.” She goes on to tell us.
One week after being discharged from the hospital, however, things got darker.
“I started bleeding and was in so much pain. In the middle of the night, I went to the hospital and my cervix was way too open. I stayed there for the whole day and I was put on some drugs to help the baby’s lungs stabilize. At night, I was induced and gave birth to a baby boy. He was 1.6kg and he was taken to the nursery. After three days I lost him. He couldn't breathe well because his lungs were not well developed. I had six big fibroids and multiple small ones. The biggest was 10cm and was outside the uterus. It’s the one which pushed the baby.” Laura recalls the painful incident.
Boyfriend distanced himself
When Laura and her boyfriend had found out that they were expecting a baby, they had been so excited and had made plans to formalize their relationship. But when she started having complications, things took a different direction.
“When I started having complications the dude started distancing himself. He never came to the hospital to check on me when I needed him most. He would just send me the money to clear the bills. I was so lonely by then because I needed him by my side. He just came when I lost the baby attended the burial and went back. He was sad and he even cried but I just felt he wasn't that sad because it's like he had given up on me when the complications started. Since then, we met once and it was me who went to his place. He never bothered about me.”
Laura's only prayer
As we conclude our interview with Laura, she tells us that all she hopes for is a permanent cure for her condition.
“I haven’t gotten any treatment. I fear surgery because I was told if I don't get pregnant immediately they will grow back. Every day I pray for a permanent cure to fibroids apart from surgery. I share with people because I believe that through that, I might get a solution” a hopeful Laura says.
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