7 times it's ok to take mum and dad's advice about relationships

gloria mari

October 18, 2017 4:48 PM

Times when it's ok not to listen to the parents

At certain times in your relationship, you feel as though you need advice. So you decide to go to both or either one of your parents.

And while they may be older, wiser and have your best interests at heart- there are times it’s just a bad idea to listen to them.

Here are 7 times you shouldn’t heed your parents’ advice about relationships.

When you’re mid fight with your spouse.

Emotions are heightened. You’re less likely to be objective.

When your parents are bigots.

Some parents have misguided beliefs, be they on sexual orientation, age, tribe, politics- they will give you biased, unhelpful advice simply because they don’t like your partner’s political affiliation or tribe.

When your parents aren’t willing to listen.

There’s the saying that African mums know everything. They don’t. And when they don’t know that they don’t know, they can get arrogant. When she’s already dishing out advice before you even told her what the problem is, just politely listen then bounce. Or when you go to dad and he starts belting on about how he knew that woman wasn’t good enough for you. When you were going to ask him if it’s better to buy your wife a car or an apartment.

When they start comparing their lives to yours.

If they aren’t willing to be objective enough to treat your situation with the unique insight it deserves then let it be.

When it’s about sex.

Don’t ever go to mum or dad for bedroom advice.

When your instincts say otherwise.

Don’t mistake a desperate wish for conviction. But when your gut, the little voice at the back of your mind and your heart say no, don’t do what they say.

When they have a personal stake in the outcome.

If say mum has business with your wife and she needs you both to remain together for the business to flourish, it’s only human for her to influence things so that they can benefit her.