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Dating an SDA? Here’s why you might want to cancel your Valentine’s Day plans

If you're dating a Seventh-Day Adventist, you might want to put those Valentine’s Day plans on hold—or cancel them altogether! While some people are busy picking out red outfits and planning grand surprises, others see February 14th as a celebration with questionable roots. Is there more to this love-filled holiday than meets the eye?
SDA church pastor Elizabeth Mokoro
SDA church pastor Elizabeth Mokoro

Valentine’s Day is almost here, and lovebirds are preparing for romantic dinners, surprise proposals, and dramatic Instagram captions.

But if your partner is a Seventh-Day Adventist (SDA), you might want to put those grand plans on hold.

And hey, if it’s an SDA girlfriend? Congratulations, King, you just dodged a hefty Valentine’s budget.

So, why do SDAs avoid Valentine’s Day? And where did this holiday even come from?

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The Pagan roots of Valentine’s Day

Valentine’s Day didn’t start with candlelit dinners and red roses—it was actually a mix of pagan rituals and a Roman priest’s defiance.

Long before it became a thing, the Romans were celebrating Lupercalia, a festival dedicated to fertility and the coming of spring.

This event involved drinking, animal sacrifices, and men whipping women with the hides of slaughtered animals to supposedly increase fertility.

As Christianity spread, pagan celebrations like Lupercalia were phased out, but elements of the festival stuck around.

Origin of the name Valentine?

The name Valentine comes from a Roman priest who defied Emperor Claudius II in the 3rd century. At the time, Claudius had banned marriages for young men, believing that single men made better soldiers.

But Valentine continued to secretly marry couples, and when the emperor found out, he had him executed.

Some legends say another Valentine, a bishop from Terni, was also beheaded by Claudius II, making the true identity of the holiday’s namesake unclear.

There’s also a romantic twist—some stories claim that while imprisoned, Valentine sent a love letter to his jailer’s daughter, signing it “From your Valentine”. And just like that, a holiday was born.

Modern day Valentine’s Day

By the 5th century, Pope Gelasius I officially outlawed Lupercalia, replacing it with St Valentine’s Day.

Over time, the day evolved from a religious observance into a celebration of romantic love, especially in the Middle Ages when poets like Chaucer and Shakespeare popularised it.

On this day, people celebrate love through romantic dates, gifts, and social media declarations, while others enjoy self-care, and friendships.

Why some SDAs don't celebrate Valentine’s Day

Seventh-Day Adventists typically do not celebrate Valentine's Day, Easter, Christmas, or Halloween because they believe these holidays have pagan origins and lack biblical support.

SDA Pastor Elizabeth Mokoro is very clear about this: "It is paganism. Why do you need to show love only for a day? I need to be shown love every day.”

SDA church pastor Elizabeth Mokoro

Speaking to a congregation which had a question on whether it is right for the people from SDA faith to celebrate the day, she also had a word of caution for people putting pressure on others for Valentine’s Day surprises:

Na msikaze watoto wetu sana wasichana. Ati sijui mupelekwe wapi... Ati apange surprise ati he proposes ‘Will you marry me?’ Kama hutaki, wacha!

Do all SDAs reject Valentine’s Day?

While the SDA Church generally discourages the celebration, not all members completely avoid it. Some choose to acknowledge the day in ways that align with their beliefs.

Does the Bible talk about Valentine’s Day?

The day as we now know, only became a thing in the 14th century, so there’s no specific mention of it in the Bible. However, scripture is rich with wisdom on love and relationships.

One of the most popular verses is 1 Corinthians 13:“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud".

At the end of the day, whether you celebrate Valentine’s Day or not is a personal decision. If you’re in a relationship with an SDA, don’t take it personally when they don’t buy into the hype.

Love is an everyday affair, not just a one-day event. So whether you celebrate it with chocolates or with everyday kindness, the most important thing is keeping love alive—365 days a year.

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