All she did was just be born - Jackie Matubia on Blessing rejecting their child

Kenyan actress Jackie Matubia has shared intimate details about her past relationship with fellow actor Blessing Lung'aho.

The mother of two explained her decision to ask Blessing to leave her house, a choice influenced by her initial reluctance toward marriage and the challenges that arose after they became engaged.

I didn’t want the marriage from the start - Jackie Matubia

Speaking in a conversation with Dr Ofweneke on November 13, Jackie disclosed that she never wanted to marry Blessing, expressing that she had made her stance on marriage clear from the very beginning.

Comparing her time with Blessing to her previous relationship with her first baby’s father, a pilot, Jackie pointed out that the latter was her only real marriage.

“My wake-up call was my second marriage,” she said. “I wouldn’t even call it a marriage because we never really went through with it in the true sense. My first marriage was real, and I remember telling Blessing that I didn’t want marriage, didn’t want to walk down the aisle.”

Jackie shared that her hesitance stemmed from feeling that she was not in a place where marriage aligned with her goals or desires.

Realisations after the birth of Zendaya

Jackie’s perspective shifted after the birth of her daughter, Zendaya. Reflecting on her experience as a mother, she acknowledged that becoming a parent made her evaluate the relationship differently, especially in terms of the well-being of her child.

“When I got Zendaya, I had a moment of clarity,” she revealed. “I kept asking myself if this was the life I wanted for myself. But I was constantly worried about what people would say.”

Jackie admitted that she initially focused more on the relationship than on her first child, a choice she came to question.

Observing her daughter, she could see fear in her eyes, and it motivated her to make some tough decisions. “I told God I wanted to work on myself to become a better mother,” she explained, adding that she was determined to give her daughter the stability and care she deserved.

In the end, Jackie asked Blessing to leave their home, fully aware of the challenges ahead as a single mother. She described the experience as familiar territory, recalling her journey raising her first child with a co-parenting arrangement. But despite her efforts to encourage Blessing to stay active in Zendaya’s life, Jackie felt disheartened when he did not engage as she had hoped.

"When I told the dad to go, he left. In my head I was like this is not the first time to raise a kid out of marriage and coparent. And I fought. Mimi na kiburi yangu. God knows I fought for the dad to be in the daughter's life. But he did not. And you cannot force a man. I tried... And was like I can only do much," she said.

Overcoming bitterness and moving on

Driven by anger, Jackie initially contemplated legal action to secure support for her daughter. She took the matter to court, but in the end, reconsidered her decision.

Jackie admitted that she harboured resentment, even toward her daughter at times, because of the feelings of failure and disappointment she carried.

"I was crying because I failed this little girl. All she did was just be born... Watu waliniambia niende kotini... Nilienda. I was very bitter. I wanted this person to suffer. But nikaona Jackie, utakua unaamka 5th of every month to bombard this person because of Sh20,000? Is it even worth it? Is my child even worth it? No hakuna haja," she said.

Jackie credits her nanny for stepping in and providing stability for Zendaya when she felt unable to handle it all alone.

"I feel like I could not be able to... Mi nilikuwa nimezoea kusaidiwa na my other baby daddy... Sasa huyu ni kila kitu. And when I say kila kitu I mean even the love, care, assurance, protection was coming from just one parent. And I told myself am done proving myself to people who don't know me. The only people who I need to prove myself to are my children," she said.  

Focused on her children & self-growth

Having moved on, Jackie has shifted her focus to loving and supporting her children, making them her top priority. “The only people I need to prove myself to are my children,” she emphasised.

She admitted that her tears were not for the end of her relationship, but because of her commitment to become a better mother.

"I was not crying because he left... As a woman before utoke kwa situation ulikuwa ushatoka kitambo... Before I gave birth to my daughter, I already decided this was not working because a lot of things happened in our relationship. And I have worked on myself," she said.

She shared that she has remained celibate for three years, dedicating herself to personal growth and her children’s well-being.