5 reasons why a guy may not want to sleep with you

Si kila saa mambo ya...

Yes, men too have their “not tonight babe” moments and it could be for a number of reasons as explained by sex therapist Laurie J Watson in Psychology Today.

Performance anxiety

“Regardless of whether he feels desire, if a man has problems getting or keeping an erection, or if he has troubles lasting a fair time during intercourse, he may hesitate to initiate,” says Ms. Watson.

Ms. Watson further explained that a man experiencing performance anxiety may be misinterpreted by their partner as a sign that they have lost attraction in their partner.

Low testosterone

Ms. Watson explained that a dip in a man’s testosterone levels could lead to “reduced desire and often poorer erections.

“Most men have a great supply of testosterone, the “hungry-for-sex” hormone, all their lives. When desire wanes, and the man’s experience is different than earlier in his relationship, it’s time to go to the doctor.”

They prefer to self-satisfy

Yeah, so apparently some men may prefer to masturbate instead of having sex with their partners. Ms. Watson believes that this could be because they want to “take a break from depending on another to meet their sexual needs”.

“Often, they use porn because it’s easy, it’s exciting and it’s efficient. And it spares them the sexual negotiation with a partner that can feel exhausting. Even when their partner wants more than they do, a man might withhold sex out of an unconscious need for the autonomy of sexual aloneness.”

Okay then.

The woman may be the problem without realizing

Saying things like “all men want is sex” could, according to Ms. Watson, be considered to be male-bashing.

“While women typically respond best to a slow sexual approach, the truth is, sometimes men want to just “get after it” when they feel the urge. With a body full of testosterone, they are sexual kindling to the sexual stimuli all around, and it can be discouraging when they have a female partner who cannot fathom what it feels like to ignite instantaneously.”

They may be having an affair

A man may reject physical intimacy because they may be having an affair.

“Affairs can start because of sexual frustration, but they are often a complicated solution to seemingly unsolved problems within the primary relationship.”

A man may either be feeling guilty to have sex with their partners because they are already sexually satisfied.


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