We have all been there. That gut wrenching feeling of helpless despair after the loss of a loved one is a feeling that no one wants to endure.
Sadly, life isn’t always a bed of roses. After placing the last handful of soil upon the grave life continues as if nothing ever changed. When those who came to support you are miles away with their loved ones, you are left to wander what to do with that empty feeling.
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Grief is such a terrible feeling.
Still, there is always a silver lining. It almost inevitable that at one point your life will continue. What before was a sense of unjustified loss becomes a subtle acceptance of the reality.
How do you get to it?
Grief is a unique experience for everyone. However there are five known stages of dealing with grief.
“She is in denial” You’ve probably used this term when talking about someone in a light state of disbelief. Being in denial is a point where the grieving person is completely refusing that it has happened. “ It hit me that my grandmother was dead when we got to the mortuary. Before that, I couldn’t feel anything,” Jane Thogori a mother of two states.
A deep sense of injustice brought about by their death. Questions like ‘Why did they have to go? Why did he have to die?’ are just but a few that may cross your mind at the time. It’s okay to be upset if you don’t react by harming yourself or someone else.
The idea that if there’s a chance for them coming back is one you will probably indulge. Intense dreams that seem so real about that person may also haunt your nights at the beginning. Remember that grieving is different for people, it may not happen to you.
Feeling like there is no sense of being alive, like nothing is worth doing at this particular time or a need to seclude yourself from the society is a sure sign that your falling into depression. This is a critical time that can either tip you down a path of serious emotional imbalance or be your final step to making peace with what has happened.
Coming to terms with the loss of a loved one is quite difficult but finding your peace is the key to emotional freedom and continuing with life without your loved one.
There is no specific duration given for dealing with grief and it does not necessarily mean forgetting the person you’ve lost. Ride it out, the pain must be there for you to handle it.