10 types of neighbours
10 types of neighbours
Beyond the normal plot drama (especially those starting life in apartments such as I) there are types of neighbors you will deal with in your walk of life.
1. Nosy one
These are the ones who know everything that happens in the building. They know who just flew out and who fought with who. In fact, they have a pretty good idea how everybody's daily timing is and I am sure I'm not the only one wishing they can give just as direct answers when your house is robbed.
2. The thief
You will never seem them or be able to identify them but everyone in the building can feel their effects. The security guards are usually the first to be blamed for theft, however, it usually goes unsaid that there is a thief living in the building. You will hear about it during the general apartment meetings but because everyone is complaining you may probably never notice them even when they are right under your noses.
3. The player
This is the guy with the Subaru whose car is always playing loud music when he arrives at the building. What's even worse is that he will let the radio continue playing as he gets his luggage from the car. Everybody knows him, he's called the player because has slept with most if not all the young girls in the building. Mothers don't want to see their daughters around him but he has his ways.
4. The drunkard
this is the guy who's always passing out at the entrance of the apartments. If he hasn't pissed himself silly, then he's singing Kenny Rodgers at the top of his voice while calling his wife's name. It could go two ways: One, he gets violent. Two, his wife comes out with a pan and he has to defend himself. Either way, after your first few minutes of agitation, you'll be running to your window to witness the drama.
5. The druggie
He doesn't go to work, the only thing that leaves his house is a bountiful amount of smoke, loud music and skimpily dressed university students. He is the guy your mother warned you about. Everyone suspects he deals heavy drugs but everyone only speaks about his weed addiction. He's always lighting a 'sporti' and when he finally decides to show his face then it's to sit outside with the cobbler to chew miraa.
6. The rat house
Everybody dreads living next to these guys. They could be really good neighbors but their house is so dirty they are practically living with a family of mice and a whole colony of roaches. Pray, they don't decide to perform an extermination. All the bugs will definitely move to your house. You will also avoid visiting because their bedbug struggle is real!
7. The borrower
You can't understand how they manage the rent when they are always at your door borrowing something. sometimes it's money (that they never pay) and other times they want your charger, your sufuria, that nice jacket your hang outside the other day and your whole house if they could have it.
8. The snub
These type of 'Jiranis' don't have time for you. No, they will not say hi back, you will never enter their house and best believe you will think twice before you go to borrow a match box at their house. Even passing in front of their doorstep is a problem.
9. The sponsored
She lives alone, is always taking a matatu or a cab but every night there is a Prado or Rangerover parked outside her door. Her relationship with the watchman and the salon lady is exceptional. However, right after she leaves you to find them talking about her and her sponsors. Also, she'll never give you her number.
10. The gossiper
Everybody hates them. Other than getting to into everybody's business. They are always spreading lies about their neighbors. From cult stories to infidelity claims, they've got a nasty mouth that only spews lies for those who care to listen.
Of course, you won't miss one or two that simply mind their own business, are ever helpful and respectful to the rest but they are rare. Very, Very rare.
What kind of neighbors do you have?
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