To err is to be human, but moving past errors can be tricky. It is necessary however to move past them in a way that we learn our lesson and also repair the cut they bring in relationships. Like a sprained ankle, if the relationship doesn't get passed the hurt properly, it heals wrong and pain is bound to return.
5 best romantic gestures when you want to apologise
"Happy (spouse) wife, happy life!" the cliche goes. How you say sorry can determine the way your relationship heals from upsets and conflict.
When words are hard to come or not enough, here are some tips on how to say sorry using actions.
What to consider
Your partner's love language and individual preferences.
Make sure the gesture fits the offense. If you said something wrong, the gesture may go in a particular direction, but if infidelity is our offense then the gesture takes a different tone.
Sorry doesn't always make things okay. Especially because it is misused to quickly move passed hurt feelings or anger.
Supplementing a "sorry" with action can make your apology package a self-care and relationship care package.
It shows character and recognises the impact of a situation, which can speed up the healing process and restore trust and your bond faster.
Step out of the box
Be innovative with your gifts when you are trying to apologise. Go out of your way and do extraordinary gifting to show your partner that you value them. Forget chocolates and flowers, and surprise them. Use shock value to your advantage.
If you forgot something, plan to do it as soon as possible in a different way or manner.
Dig deep into the empathetic language
When your partners' feelings are hurt, don't get defensive or try to out-match their feelings. Go into their experience with them, give them space to have their feelings, and understand them.
Listening is an essential part of communication in relationships, here are some tips to make you a more empathetic listener.
By listening and understanding, you can make sure the mistake doesn't happen again and receive true forgiveness.
Take initiative, baby!
Your partner is likely to respond if you take responsibility to get you both out of the hurt. Make some personal sacrifices, initiate activities, or set plans. Do what you wouldn't normally do but seems appropriate for the moment.
Give them options
You can consult your partner on what they want you to do for them. Then use that information to fine-tune the gesture in your own way of apologising. By consulting them, you also show that you care about their feelings and opinion. When in doubt, ask. There's no manual for romantic gestures for everyone, give them the choice on the matter rather than misfire.
Just like 'sorry' can be used to quickly move past hurt feelings, grand gestures can also be used to escape the humbling experience of owning one's mistake and apologising. Give a heartfelt apology which includes your mistake, why you did it, how it affected your partner, and how to move forward.
Take responsibility for your actions and show genuine remorse.
Apologies and grand gestures can complement each other but neither should be used to escape the situation. The mistake is the focal point of the hurt feelings and this focus shouldn't be turned to personal apologies or grand gestures. An appropriate apology can be complemented with a grand gesture, and a grand gesture should always come after owning the mistake.
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