Why you should stop threatening your partner with a breakup to get attention
If you have to break up with your man every time you want him to act right and treat you well, then you of all people should not be faking a breakup!
When you are in a relationship and he gets lukewarm with his affection, if his efforts are dipping and he no longer looks at you or pay attention to you as he used to, how do you get him back to his senses?
If your answer to that is to dump him so that he can miss you and come crawling back to you, you may have to rethink that strategy.
While it is true that losing something precious helps us realise how special that thing is, the rule may not apply at all times to relationships or to human beings. Emotions are more complex, relationships are more intricate and matters of the heart are not always as cut and dried as the adage ‘you don’t know the value of what have till you lose it.’
The best thing to do when your man’s efforts at loving you starts to dwindle is to communicate this to him as clearly as possible and in the most healthy manners imaginable. Let him know how you feel about his lack of effort, how you feel that the energy in the relationship is fading out and how you deserve more because you came into the relationship expecting just that.
Of course, to make these demands, one needs to be sure that they have been consistent at showing that partner the kind of love they’re asking for.
When all of that is said and done and he still pays no mind to you, then the right thing to do would be to let that man go. As a self-respecting woman who knows what she deserves, breaking up with a man who refuses to get his act right, despite several attempts at calling him to order, should be final and with a resolute mind.
You should break up with someone because you are ready to live without them, because you are done and want something different, not because you hope and intend to be dragged back into the same toxic, unhealthy cycle of neglect and asymmetrical efforts at making things work!
If you have to break up with your man every time you want him to take notice of you, miss you, treat you right or pay you the right type of attention you need and deserve, then you have no business faking the breakup! This is one the ripest instances for actual, final breakup!
Creating a pattern of breaking up or threatening to do so does not look good for your self respect and self esteem as well. When he begs and you take him back every time you breakup, he becomes used to the idea that you are just weakly seeking attention, and that after all your huff, puff and dramatic breakup shenanigans, a little plea will bring you back. It no longer makes any sense. You become devalued. The pattern becomes ludicrous and hilarious, really. You actually lose your dignity.
If your man ever decides to piss off his relationship by not paying you enough attention till you get fed up and choose to get out, then you should decide to leave and not look back! That is how a breakup should be - with a firm decision that you are done and you are moving on.
If there must be second chances, they should not happen because they are planned, schemed or orchestrated. A second chance should be granted only because a man genuinely realizes his errors and comes back with a promise to do better; and when he falls back to the pattern that necessitated the second chance, you can dump his sorry ass and close that chapter of your life for good.
JOIN OUR PULSE COMMUNITY!
Eyewitness? Submit your stories now via social or: