In a society where the number of divorce cases are increasing, many are opting to stay out of love and just have sex. However, the remaining hopeful romantics are falling out of love. Unfortunately,sometimes with the right person for all the wrong reason
Successful dating: What have you been doing wrong?
However pretty and amazing you might be, someone somewhere is tired of your BS. Understanding this means finding the real reason why your relationships have not been working out. Here are a few things you might need to change.
A lot of quick fix solutions have been given by scribes including things like, What men want in a woman or How to keep things saucy in a relationship which, have such a fleeting effect on real dating. At the end and because of failing to get the root of the problem, what would have been a wonderful relationship is cut short.
The true answer to successful dating is found within personal mastery of the basic human responses to emotions and situations. Below are a few things you may need to adapt.
1. Do not shout at each other
Whatever the situation, however angry your partner has made you, never raise your voice during an arguement. Violence, even if verbal, is an indication of your emotional inability to come to terms with a situation. Walk out and calm down before you continue with the confrontation. If on phone then you would rather go silent first and let your partner vent out their frustrations. This will prevent you from saying or doing something that you cannot take back.
2. Never insult your partner
I remember an episode of The Grim adventures of Billy & Mandy where Billy sings, "Sticks and stoned may break my bones but words will never harm me."
On the contrary, words bruise way deeper than a punch.
It takes serious effort to remain diplomatic during an argument but hurling insults at each other does nothing but hurt both of you. The problem may be resolved but never are the insecurities that come with the thought that your partner disregards you in a particular way. Intended or not, they are the building blocks of lifetime self esteem issues that can later on affect your relationship negatively.
You would be surprised at how many relationships have drifted and ended because they played the 'Why can't he call me first?' card.
A big ego is the quickest way to end a relationship. Be the bigger person who cuts out the 'E' and lets it 'go'. Talking about your insecurities and letting your partner know how you feel concerning something allows them to have an insight on what they are doing wrong and how they can change it.
Its high time people realise that rarely does a person do anything just to hurt them. Most times, your distress is the result of a selfish or not well thought out decision that felt right at the time of occurence. Talking things out makes you real in a very plastic world and allows you the chance of closure and healing.
4. Stay put
Unless you're not serious about it (if so, take a pause right now and break up with your partner) dating is meant to lead to life-long companionship and marriage.
It isn't always a bed of roses but staying put and holding on even your relationship is in shambles allows you the time to find out whats missing and make it work for the both of you. Problems are a chance for growth. Being able to tackle situations as they come makes you a stronger couple. It lays precedent on how you will handle a problem when it comes up again, even if its not in the same relationship.
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