Just when to let your lover go, number 4 is heartbreaking

Many would contemplate losing their loved ones and so tend to coil around, creating unnecessary reasons, seeking exit.

 

You don’t have to die for this. Probably, you ignored earlier end-of-relationship signs.

A cordially working relationship will give you a sense of security. But there comes a time when you just have to accept to end it. Agreeing to let go at times is as a painful as when cheated on.

A well woven relationship takes time to let go, or even forget about that ‘sweetheart’.

A spot check by P Live Kenya shows that men are most affected when a break up emerges, unlike ladies who take the shortest time possible to heal.

Some relationships can be a fuss, respondents interviewed by P Live Kenya say, but due to lack of a clear option, one tends to “proceed anyway,” says a Nairobi based Miss. Akinyi when she talked to me.

Here are clear ways to know when you should let it subside.

No trust, no love

Lack of trust in a relationship is suicidal. Losing this highly coveted virtue is the start of the end of peace in between. It is important to trust one another. However, should the lend trust hit the hard rock, be lucky when it bounces back to yourself, you must plan to let it go.

A great sign that everything is getting ugly as far as trust is concerned is when you start questioning the other person’s motives, abilities and reasons always. It can no longer be flowery with you. Insecurity sets in.

Everything from why she’s acting so nice to you, to how much you trust her to take something that is important to you and respect it.

Jeopardized trust breeds jealousy, anger, possessiveness and other negative feelings to leak free and poison a tenuous relationship. When it gets to this point, hang your boots. Just move on.

Differences in values

When you no longer resonate to your partners tune, you can opt out. We all have our own values intrinsic to us. Everyone craves to be secure, free, have a family which is probably liberal, and, guess a good marriage.

The moment you start differing over such values, the relationship is just crumbling down. You would rather quit. This is an early warning.

When your values begin to rub uncomfortably against your significant other, it might be an early warning sign all is not right in paradise. It has just to come to the end.

A good relationship, as many would agree, has its preset parameters and assimilation of your partner’s values into your life. Sometimes, however, values are too distinct and different to be reconciled without a drastic compromise that will likely cause a rift.

One would be selfish enough to concentrate on their own values, at the expense of yours, probably having given you a cold treat, you just have to quit.

No common plans, boring

This is more of psychological. It knocks your partner psychologically in the sense that they feel isolated. When you are no longer part of your best half’s plans, it is a green light for you to quit. Try ending the relationship so that both of you can just move on, before stress start setting in.

Relationships are supposed to be naturally full of fun and joy and if you’ve lost that from your partner, it might be time to end the relationship. At times it can happen that you are unable to retrieve and reawaken the sense of fun you no doubt once shared with your significant other. It just fails.

Probably your time together is a business as usual, full of scorn and anguish, creating a feeling of having wasted your time out with him. Days have become dull, every attempt at excitement or some happiness-inducing activity is met with malaise or a general distaste for something that breaks you out of your routine.

Fantasy for others, no future here yet

Anyone would have a fantasy, that’s naturally awesome. Fantasies and memories of your better past can start to negatively affect your relationship when you cannot channel your energies into your current one.

A concluding partner would instead choose to daydream about a life with someone else – or, more honestly, they already have someone else. They are just around you to wind it up, cause chaos in your heart.

If you’re heading towards this route, then perhaps you’ve already given up on your relationship psychologically and emotionally. End it!

Indisputably, being in a relationship is rallied by the idea of creating a future together, shaping and designing your life you are actively choosing to share with your significant other. If this is not crossing your minds, its apparently the best time to rethink the course of action.

If this is the case, stop, there, ask yourself why you are in the relationship to begin with and why you’re choosing to remain in a situation with which you have little emotional investment.

No excitement about the idea of marriage

Marriage isn’t for everyone and that’s okay. Getting married is a bit of an extreme circumstance, perhaps, but the idea of any form of strong, serious commitment with a person can induce feelings of panic and fear, and might be a strong indicator and sign it’s time to end the relationship, many Kenyan men say.

Things have run their course, maybe, and while it’s nice to cling to the idea of changing and getting over it, it’s not fair to the other person who might be more committed and ready to take that step where you cannot just yet.

There you go folks. You have the power to decide. Break it to make it.

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