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Body-shaming is a reality that many have to deal with on a daily basis both online and offline.
While some acts are clear and aggressive, body-shaming can also happen through statements, questions and unsolicited advice made with good intentions.
These are often perceived as casual phrases or compliments while in reality, they are actually subtle acts of body-shaming that should be avoided.
The list includes unsolicited pieces of advice, jokes or comments and questions which fly about during daily interactions and it takes a lot of intent not to cross the line as the intention may be genuine but the impact and the result is negative.
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Commenting/complementing people on weight loss
Commentaries even with good intentions can hurt and deeper reflection on the same leaves no doubt that it is body-shaming dressed as a compliment.
READ: WATCH: Mammito humorously silences online bullies body-shaming her
9 Common statements & questions which are body-shaming that you should avoid
Weight loss or gain is a personal aspect of life. Complementing one on weight loss or weight gain makes them feel like they were not in the best shape or form prior to the change with negative impacts should they revert to their initial weight, shape or size.
Comments on postpartum bodies & changes from illness
The human body is designed to adjust to natural processes such as pregnancy and diseases which come with weight gain or weight loss.
An AI generated image of a man and a woman talking
Statements on people’s postpartum bodies with reassurance that they will eventually tone down and lose the weight or compliments touching on bouncing back to their initial size/weight may be well-intended but the reality is that they constitute body shaming.
READ: 150kg & unstoppable: Kabuda's tearful journey through body shaming & Obinna's support
The same goes for any change in weight, size or shape associated with an illness or medical condition.
Joke about bodies? Not funny
Jokes about a person’s height, weight, size, shape or body features have no place in humour.
Great humour is not founded on body-shaming or putting anyone on the spot over their body features, size, weight or shape and subjects to make jokes about are in plenty.
Statements on body shape/size
Bodies come in different shapes and sizes and the assumption that a particular body type or size is the ideal one is the basis of body shaming.
The reality is that all bodies are valuable, the size or shape notwithstanding.
This statement may pass as a compliment but deep introspection reveals that it implies that any shape or size other than the one being referred to is bad or negative and is body-shaming to those around the recipient of the statement who may have a different physique.
More questions and statements to avoid
Did you lose weight? You look great: While this may appear to be a compliment, the reality is that it is not. Its implication is that the person to which it is directed was not looking great before and passes undue pressure to them to remain in the same posture.
Comments such as “I feel so fat today" denote that being fat is undesirable and a negative while this is neither a fact nor universal.
Questions like "Do I look fat/Do I look slim?" also fall in this category as they convey that one form is better than the other which is not true.
"You’re so brave" for exercising or wearing certain clothes: Clothes are designed for all humans and the choice of what to wear is a personal decision. This statement implies that in the eyes of the person making the comment, the recipient is not in the “ideal” size, shape or form that is best for what they are wearing.
"Real women have curves" & "You're not fat, you're beautiful": The scale of beauty is so wide that no single shape, size or weight is universally accepted by all as the ideal one.
An image depicting people socialising over drinks
The same goes for body features and shape. This statement suggests that women have curves and those who don’t are not real, which is misleading and body-shaming in itself.
A little thought into the words that come out of our mouths goes a long way in showing appreciation to those whose paths cross with ours creating a better environment for them by shunning body-shaming