Kenya's most dangerous animals

These animals will most likely kill you.

These are Kenya's most dangerous animals.

1. Mosquitoes

The number one enemy to a good night's sleep, mosquitoes are known to be the vectors of some of the deadliest diseases known to man. The most nefarious one being the female anopheles mosquito which is the vector for malaria. A disease that kills more than a million people a year in Africa.

2. The hippo

It's name is greek for water horse. I don't know why since there is nothing horse like about it. It looks more like a pig that was being made and then the maker got distracted and mixed it up with a fat hairless warthog. They kill up to 300 people a year because they're unnecessarily aggressive anthrax carriers that feed on each others' poop, can run faster than you and they can chomp you in half with their teeth.

3. The elephant

Majestic and glorious, the earth's largest land mammal is one with tuskers and a trunk and an intelligence that shocks even geniuses. They are also highly aggressive because of man's affinity for poaching things that don't belong to them. It is estimated that they kill over 200 people a year.

4. Lone buffalo

When buffaloes are in a herd, you're safer. Probably. But the savanna's glorified cow is one with a temper problem especially if alone. Said to be the largest killer of big game hunters, they're estimated to kill up to 200 Africans a year.

5. Black mamba

Africa's most feared snake with a black mouth and venom that scares you even when you aren't there, it has a near 100% mortality rate. They also strike repeatedly and you can't outrun one.

6. Puff adder

It's a fat snake that got so lazy it decided to look like the ground so that it can ambush its prey. Responsible for most human fatalities related to snake bites in Africa, the puff adder is the snake that introduced humans to jungle camouflage. Actually, it didn't. I made that up. But it is the snake that has killed the most Africans, so if you're lucky enough to spot it before it sees you, back up slowly and go home.

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