Has any of these happened to you?
Having sex or making love if you like, is supposed to be a beautiful, sensual, emotional and mind-blowing experience. While it does go like that at least most of the times, if you’re lucky to have a good partner who knows how to lay the pipe, other times, things can get a little bit embarrassing. Let’s not pretend like we have never had embarrassing sex moments like:
Queefing is when the vagina makes a ‘fart’ sound. However, it’s not really farting since it's not smelly and the sound only comes out when too much air has been pumped up there and it finds its way out. Queefing is caused by some sex styles like doggy and too much fingering. It’s totally normal but if we are being honest, the sound can be really embarrassing especially because the minute you decide to sit properly or change positions, that’s when the sound decides to increase lol.
Omg imagine a guy going down on you then you let out that ‘beans fart’? I’d be mortified.
3. Cumming after a second.
My colleague tells me it’s called ‘kuingia kama umetoka’. This is definitely embarrassing for the guy. I’m sorry but cumming after a second is not something you should be proud of.
4. Funny smells…
If you’re gonna have sex, could you at least clean your nether regions first? And if you have an infection, do get checked because, while a vagina is not supposed to smell like roses, it should also not smell like fish. The same applies to men, clean up please. I think if someone removed the underwear and the whole room smelt like soaked beans water or like rotten fish, that would ruin the moment no?
5. Weird positions.
When you decide to try one of those positions you saw on Porn Hub or some porn site but the utambi and the way your bodies are set up just won’t allow. So, you find yourselves coiled in a really awkward position panting and sweating on each other...
6. The bed breaking.
Well, that would be awkward.
7. Someone walking in on the two of you getting your coitus on.
8. Weird noises.
Some men will be the most mafia looking guys you have ever seen, but when they’re cumming, they suddenly sound like cats meaowing. Oh, not so mafia anymore huh?
Sometimes, shit hits the fan. You’re giving a random blow job and the next thing you know; vomit all over. This especially happens if the guy is too aggressive, pushing your head up and down as you give him a blow job.
10. Talking dirty gone wrong.
Remember that scene on Trainwreck the movie when John Cena and Amy Schumer were having sex and she told him to talk dirty to her but John got it all wrong and we ended up having one of the most awkward and hilarious sex scenes in TV history? Yeah, so if you can’t talk dirty the right way, just don’t.
11. Lack of erection.
Imagine just standing there with your soft piece of meat as your lady begs for some mind-blowing coitus? Wololo yaye!
12. Putting it in the wrong hole.
Don’t act like it’s not possible. Ask those who like anal sex.
14. And speaking of anal sex, having anal sex when you haven’t douched properly.
Eish that condom will come out with the last meal you had why lie?
15. Shouting the wrong name during sex.