This is why your man is not performing in bed

Premature ejaculation: When he is not rising to the occasion

Needless to say, there's not enough love to go around for men of such disposal.

It often goes unsaid in most bedrooms (As much as we don't appreciate the lack of amenities, we are not mean enough to tell you that we are not satisfied, we would like to assume you already know).

Still, it is a matter that so many women (unbeknownst to you) use as an excuse for their infidelity.

The rest complain to their girlfriends.

Well, scientists are now associating premature ejaculation to emotions of fear and anxiety in men.

By definition, anxiety is associated with health conditions such as strokes, heart attacks, high blood pressure and sexual dysfunctions.

It's called the performance anxiety or fear of intimacy

Let it be known that a man's greatest fear is not rising to the occasion. For some this leads to heightened anxiety and fear of intimacy. This, in turn, affects their sexual performance by wearing out the endocrine and nervous system through the brain which then affects the nerve control function responsible for ejaculation.

In the end, the embarrassment of not performing increases the fear and next time... his sex game is worse.


Just recently married, 28-year-old health practitioner, Justus Mulinge* says that while he has always been on top of his game, the first few times he hooked up with his wife were not as great as the should have been.

"I was scared of not making an impression to a point that I simply couldn't get it up at all, " he counted, "Next time she called me over, I was so spooked that I pretty much wanted to take her out instead of spending over to make out."

Stress from other factors such as work, relationships or sexual exhaustion can also decrease enjoyment, heighten pain and sensitivity, increase impotence and premature ejaculation side effects.

This occurs when the stress related anxiety causes a weakening in the parasympathetic nerves that are responsible for controlling a man's urge to ejaculate.

Medical officer, Getrude Nyanchoke, says that men suffering from anxiety often begin sex with a strong desire to ejaculate. She explains that the impulses needed for ejaculation take time and enough mental stimulation for orgasm to occur. If overworked by anxiety, the nerves heighten the need to let loose for the release of feel-good hormones known as endorphins.

To deal with this problem, doctors may prescribe antidepressants to treat premature ejaculation. They definitely work for some men, the drugs have worrying side effects such as drowsiness, decreased libido, weak erection, penis shrinkage and termination of seminal production.

Instead, Getrude prescribes talking to a psychologist about whatever is causing the stress.

"In a relationship, we advice the men to actually talk it out with their partners and find a buffer to their sexual expectations. Most of our patients say that once they started discussing sexual expectations with their partners, they started looking forward to the next time they'd be getting intimate."

And it works.

Justus believes that communication saved his sex life. "It wasn't easy bringing up the topic but once we started sharing our thoughts we connected on a deeper level. Sex is not just about how long we can last anymore, it's more about the satisfaction. Of course, my sex game got stronger too."


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