Let’s face it, the older we grow, the more we lose friends. Do you sometimes go through your old Facebook photos and realize that you literally no longer talk to 90% of those people? Well congratulations, it just means you have matured.
To be honest, we do not all remain in one constant position, things change, situations change and sometimes, the friendships we once cherished die off due to avoidable or unavoidable circumstance and other times, people just drift off and really, it’s fine. Friendships mostly blossom because people either find a good quality in you, like your company and your great vibes or they just want to use you and take advantage. Subsequently, these friendships end when the person realizes that they no longer get value from being your friend or they are done using you or simply, you become an asshole. Once in a while, it’s important to check yourself to ensure that you’re not the one being toxic and chasing people away. That said, here are possible reasons why you’ve lost some good friends.
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1. You got into a new relationship.
Sometimes, when we start dating, we give all our time and energy into the new relationship and forget to hang out with our friends or no longer make time for them and sooner than later, they get tired of trying to reach out. When you do get into a relationship, it’s important to find the right balance cause one day, if you break up with this person, your friends will have long replaced you.
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2. A significant change in your life happened.
You got a baby, changed jobs, moved to a different town and you’re currently busy handling your own. And really that’s understandable. For instance, if you do get a baby as the first one among your girls, you’ll notice that you will start leaning towards hanging out with other mothers as opposed to your girls. Sometimes life puts you in situations where you have no choice but to grow and leave the past behind and start hanging out with like-minded people.
If you’re way ahead of your friends, career and success-wise, you might find that some people no longer want to hang out with you. They feel insecure around you and even jealous of you. These are the kind that will start comparing their lives to yours, try to compete with you and eventually, just stop talking to you.
4. You’re too proud to check in on anyone.
If your friends are always the ones reaching out, coming up with things to do or asking how you’re fairing, it’s only fair that you reciprocate. If you don’t people will get tired. No one wants to be the one always putting in the effort and receiving no attention in return.
5. Your friends have realized that you’re just a user.
If you’re that kind of friend who only reaches out to people only when you need “a small favor”, it’s tiring. No one wants a leech of a friend always borrowing money or forever asking for help and vanishing till the next time they need help.
6. You’re toxic.
You are no longer the person with good vibes that your friends knew. You reek bad energy, gossip, spew hate and negativity and no one wants to be around you. Check yourself. Ask yourself why you changed and what led to all the negative energy.
7. You never apologize.
Believe it or not, a ten year long friendship can die just like that because one person was simply too proud to apologize over a small mistake. A simple apology can go a long way. If you’re that asshole friend that never apologizes, people might eventually get tired of that rotten attitude and simply call it quits.
8. They have found better friends who actually add value to their lives.
If you’re not providing any sort of value in the friendship, you could be replaced for better friends. For instance, if you still party like you’re 21 and your friends no longer want to go out, you might find that friendship drifting apart due to change in priorities, which leads me to the last point.
9. People drift apart sometimes.
Yeah, priorities change. People might get married, decide to change their way of life say by being more spiritual or even choosing to focus on themselves more.
Over the election period, for instance, you get to see how ignorant and tribalist some of your friends are and you decided they are not worth keeping.