I have this friend whom I would call a perfect gentleman. Really, he is. I was very fascinated with his demeanour. He is suave, sophisticated- with a genteel manner that could teach James Bond a few lessons on class.

I had to ask him about how to become a gentleman. Or at least to provide a cheat sheet that other men in need of this lesson can learn from. He wished to remain anonymous and had to grant him this request on pain of death.

My anonymous friend (Onesmus*, who lives in Karen, a small township within the sprawling suburbs called Hardy- just past Kilimani Junior-if you go past Galana Road you’ve gone too far) kindly agreed to provide pointers on the first steps to becoming a gentleman.

Here are some of the first things you should consider.

Which is the ultimate power gentleman ensemble?

A well-tailored bespoke suit. In fact one must have quite a number of these. There is something empowering about a well-tailored fitting suit. You must invest in a couple of suits that makes you stand out thanks to its impeccable fitting.

Which book should every gentleman read?

The Great Gatsby by F. Scott Fitzgerald

Beyond Expectations: From Charcoal to Gold by Njenga Karume

Act Like a Success, Think Like a Success by Steve Harvey

What should a gentleman do every time he wants to win an argument?

Always listen. There is a huge difference between hearing and listening. Take your time to listen and then face off with facts.

What is the one traditionally chivalrous thing that you believe every gentleman should be doing?

Calling when you say you are going to call her. No excuses. Keeping the promise.

What is the one thing that a gentleman should never embark upon?

Being rude to women.

Which is the gentleman’s go-to event? (E.g. Karaoke, church, guys’ night, derbies)

Car/ Motor show

Read also: Concours d'Elegance

Which musician or band should be on every gentleman’s playlist and why?

Babyface. His lyrics are powerful and just what every woman needs to hear and to be treated.

Which local should the ultimate gentleman frequent?

Highlander Bar at The Lord Erroll. Pristine and very English and utmost privacy.

If you consider these first steps by a dapper gentleman, then you’re well on your way to become an indisputably debonair connoisseur of the fine art of class.

* Not his real name, or place of residence. I made it all up.