I'm leaving my wife for another man (Part 1)

I met him on a dating site for gay men

Black couple (Photo does not not represent actual couple: Image courtesy)

Liz and I met back in campus when I was broke and very far from achieving my goals.

I would often feel embarrassed inviting her to my ka-bedsitter that had nothing but a mattress spread on the floor, a few nails hammered on to the wall where I would hang my clothes and a few utensils and stove (the paraffin kind) to cook. Speaking of stove, my roof was full of soot and, I often got into trouble with my neighbors at the run-down flats that were a walking distance from the campus, because apparently, I made their clothes smell like smoke, and you know how bad that stove smoke can be. Ah, them days!

Liz had no problem though, she would come with chipo mwitu and we would sit on my mattress, eat, catch up, have sex and I would escort her to the stage. Unlike me who was toiling to get my computer science degree, Liz was not studying; she was working as a receptionist in some office downtown – she wasn’t making much, but it was enough to live a somewhat decent life. I always knew that my struggle was short lived and promised her that one day, I would treat her like a queen. Cliché, I know, but it’s the truth. As life would have it, I graduated and interned at a deluxe fin-tech firm and was lucky enough to be retained after my internship. Naturally, I have always been hardworking. I don’t come from a wealthy background, I knew that no one would hand anything to me and that I had to get it myself.

It’s fair to say that I proved myself to be of value to the company and after working there for a while, I was promoted to a top position. Small small, I got myself an apartment in a posher side of town, got a car, and even a few swanky pairs of dress shoes. Liz, of course I upgraded her too, I mean how could I not? This was my babe, she had held me down, and had been there for me all along. When people who knew us from my campus days saw us together, they always commented “Wow you guys are still together?” Yeah, we were THAT couple.

Years later, we would get married in a grand destination wedding and even have our fair share of the ups and downs of married life. I got my darling Liz some capital to start her own business and we were living the life; we had moved from a struggling low-class couple to an upper middle class one, enjoying all the opulence that life had to offer. Three years into our marriage, we welcomed our first child. I was elated! The timing was right, I was going to be a dad. Seeing Liz crying tears of joy as she held our beautiful, delicate Iman in her arms, I couldn’t help but cry with her.

But this is where the story gets, I guess you could say sad? I don’t even know how I mustered courage to do this but since we are already here, might as well get on with it right? See, a few years after Iman was born, sure, we still had it all, but something changed. And don’t get me wrong – I love Liz to death. She’s the perfect wife – she’s got these sparkly eyes, silk smooth skin, an infectious smile and laughter and I love how her nose crinkles when she smiles. She’s got to be the most caring human I know – wouldn’t hurt a fly even though she gets feisty sometimes, which I love because she looks so sexy trying to shove me around when she’s angry. Ah, my darling Liz, love her!

But having been together for so long, 12 years to be precise - 7 years dating and 5 married, we began to lose it. I don’t know what that ‘it’ is but there’s no spark anymore these days. Liz is still beautiful, she loves to stay in shape, she’s got style – always has her hair and nails done and when we travel to Dubai, she shops for all the trendy-but-age-appropriate clothes and I’m the luckiest man in the world to have her by my side. Really, I mean that. But I’m not as happy as I once was, I don’t think Liz is happy too. Honestly, I don’t know! She…she seems to be okay in her comfort zone of ‘happy wife happy life’ – taking care of Iman and basically not having to worry about money. I am a man that has it all, well, technically – a decent amount of wealth, I have had the opportunity to travel the world, a loving and beautiful family, but still, my heart is suddenly empty and in fact, as I jot this down, I’m on anti-depressants. Funny how life changes. 

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