Do this and you can forget about the second date.
She blue ticks you. Then one day, she sends you a cursory message telling you it was nice to meet you, she’s no longer interested and to have a nice life.
Chances are, she just wasn’t feeling it.
A deal breaker is the flaw that she cannot overlook even though you have other redeeming qualities.
1. Bad hygiene
If you have chronic body odour or bad breath- then maybe this is forgivable. But if you’re sloppy in your appearance, are uncouth and unclean about simple hygiene, then no.
It’s commendable to be proud of your achievements. But a woman whom you just met and are trying to woo is not your audience for how much effort you put into tracking the stats for an upcoming match and ended up winning Sh100, 000 on SportPesa. Don’t brag about your job, car, house, mum, how you’re God’s gift to women for picking the restaurant. Just don’t brag about anything.
If you appear to have heaps of personal issues, that will send some women scurrying in the other direction.
For instance, if you’re that guy who has to take your date home because you have to watch your sister’s kids and you end up forcing her to baby sit as well, that’ll be a no.
Plus if you miss your ex or still have countless entanglements with her then she won't want to stick around for that.
4. Playing the field
Fidelity is a complex and intricate necessity in a relationship. But on the first few dates, exclusivity may not have been discussed yet.
It would, however, be moronically ill-mannered to flirt with other women while you’re on a date.
5. Being a control freak
When you go on a date, there has to be mutual companionship. Selecting activities that you would both enjoy or if your game is in 3017, the kind of activities that would make her want to have your babies.
But if you’re that guy who wants to control everything from what she eats, how much she drinks, who she should talk with and when she should use the loo, it’s definitely not going to happen.
Little turns a woman off more than a man telling her how she should have her opinions.
If she is explaining something, then you interrupt to tell her that she should phrase it or word it differently according to how you know things then you’re mansplaining. If you try to interrupt her so that you can explain to her what she was trying to tell you in the first place, then you’re mansplaining. Careful, you misogyny will be showing.
So when you go a step further and start showing open contempt for others because you believe men of your tribe or nationality are superior then it’s not going down for real.
If you’re only interested in the sound of your own voice, your interests and you’ve turned the entire date into a me-me-me marathon, you’ll never hear from her again.
If you show any signs of being a bully, if you mock other people’s flaws and are brazenly rude and inconsiderate of your date, the wait staff or even the homeless man begging for alms on the street- to the left, to the left dear.
10. Too handsy
There needs to be boundaries. If you don’t respect a girl’s boundaries you’re crossing the line into lechery and sexual harassment.
On a date, you could get a table where another patron has just vacated. On that table, you find a generous tip has been left in the leather billfold or the money tray. You then decide to pocket that money. What’s to stop her from thinking that you would do the same to her?
You don’t own her. So when you act irrational and possessive when she gets calls or texts or when some other fellow decides to flirt with her, then you’re going to lose her.
The date runs its course. You take her home. At the door, you share a kiss goodnight. If she doesn’t invite you in, go home. You make her stand outside simply because you want to hold onto her- and she doesn’t want to. You keep calling. You keep texting. You randomly show up at her gym or work place. You stifle her. You smother her. You’ll end up scaring her off.
14. Lack of ambition
Being broke isn’t a crime. Most people have been skint a moment or two in their lives. But if you’re a shiftless layabout who mocks hardworking people and you expect her to pay for everything yet you’re the one who asked her out- you’re not going to get lucky there.
If you have no plans for your future, your living situation is one that leaves a lot to be desired and you show no signs of wanting to change your situation, you’d be better off looking for a sponsor rather than taking a regular woman on a date.