Ghosting: The rise of silent breakup culture, its heavy price & consequences

Ghosting is becoming common in today’s relationship with some embracing it as the easier path when ending relationships.

It is slowly turning into the new good-bye, replacing heartfelt conversations and genuine communication that not only gave closure and made healing easier, but also retained meaningful connections and demonstrated emotional maturity.

Renowned media personality, Janet Mbugua flagged this growing trend while rooting for honest communication with clarity that allows both people to move on without confusion.

Her powerful reflections capture the reality of many relationships that have been victims of the silent breakup without goodbyes.

Why is ghosting becoming common in relationships and what damage does it leave behind when the end of a relationship is paved with silence, confusion, and unresolved pain?

• Fear of confrontation

Due to fear of having uncomfortable conversations that often comes with facing one’s fears, anger, or guilt and taking responsibility, some resort to ghosting as an easy escape route.

READ: 8 types of Kenyan girls after a break up

While silence that avoids the emotional weight of seeing someone hurt may seem better than candid communication, the reality is that it leaves wounds and scars that could have been healed by honest discussions.

Questions that could have been answered linger on, making closure elusive for the ghosted party.

• Emotional immaturity or avoidance

Ghosting can also be a result of emotional immaturity in which one is unable or unwilling to take responsibility for their actions and emotions.

It manifests as emotional avoidance in which rather than ending a relationship with respect and dignity, emotional avoidance in which one simply withdraws contact with the other party.

• Uncertainty, indecision and leaving chances open

Ghosting may also stem from uncertainty where the ghosters not be sure of what they really want and comes across as confusion rather than rejection.

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They may be unsure whether to end the relationship or take a break, so they choose indecision disguised as disappearance while still leaving their chances open should the ghosting period turn into a break and they finally make up their mind to continue with the relationship.

The damage that ghosting leaves behind

Ghosting is intentional as it requires one to consciously avoid communication with the other party and digital connectivity is a component in this. While technology enables meaningful, it also makes digital detachment and ghosting much easier. In just a few seconds, one can disappear from the social media landscape, block calls, mute chats.

Being ghosted leaves one with lots of unanswered questions, with the sudden silence triggering a mix of anxiety, confusion and self-doubt with the absence of closure making healing very difficult.

Some victims of ghosting may also carry the trauma into future relationships which may see them develop trust issues as a result of having been left in the past without an explanation. The help of a qualified professional may help in healing the scars and trauma of the past.

READ: 7 ways heartbreaks help you to have a better marriage

Ghosters often carry the guilt of having left their victims in emotional turmoil without closure and live in fear that they too may become victims of similar actions.

While it may feel convenient, ghosting also erodes empathy by normalising the vanishing rather than communication and detachment over compassion.

By avoiding difficult conversations, ghosters also miss out on opportunities to grow emotional and develop the ability to take responsibility for their actions and emotions with maturity.

This not only jeopardises their future relationships, but also makes them miss out on meaningful connections that could have lasted beyond the life of the relationship.