I went to four primary schools. And I have loads of memories.

Some of them bad some of them worse. I suffered my first heartbreak in my fourth primary school. My gorgeous shoulder length hair was chopped in my third primary school. They starved us so much we volunteered to help the cateress sift through maize and we stole the maize to eat it. I was accused of kissing a boy when I was in class 2 and that was literally the worst day of my life. That week.

Primary school is a place where our formative years happen. And with the amount of time we spent there, on our way there and our way back home; loads of memories will be formed.

Here are some of the memories you will probably never forget from primary school.

Assembly

There was always a school parade every Monday and Friday morning. And depending on how influential the Swahili teachers were, the Friday assembly would be in Swahili. Announcements would have to be made in Swahili. Prayer would be done in Swahili. And the national anthem would be sung in Swahili.

P.E.

Physical education was a “mandatory” part of the syllabus. For some of us, laziness set in as soon as puberty set in. P.E. for me was an exercise in prison breaks. Always hiding when people are supposed to be going for cross country.

Closing day

This was a momentous occasion for the school to capitalize on the free labour they got from pupils. We would be charged with cleaning the school. Anyone who was smart and not afraid to wake up early would get to clean windows.

Brushing up on Paint

If you had computer studies as a unit, you had theoretical classes that were drier than watching bricks. When you had a practical class, a whole 35 minutes of unfettered access to a school computer, you would use most of that time brushing up on your Paint skills.

Swinging in chairs

In every class was a cautionary tale of that kid who swung with the seat too much and eventually broke something. But whoever listened to such warnings?

Using ink pens from class 4

The moment you joined upper primary the rite of passage that would finally cement your transition was finally getting that Parker pen. Before you understood expenses, you would use Pelican ink. But after ruining a pen after less than a month, you had to buy those Sh25 pens and Quill ink.

Feeling like a god when you help the teacher carry something to the staff room

Those kinds of special chores made you feel like a million shillings because you knew you’d be one of the elite few who enter staff rooms for good reasons.

Spot-checks

These would occur depending on how malicious the teacher on duty was. They would check the hair, nails, collars, tie, and socks and even go as far as checking if your hem was properly intact.

Noisemakers list

Every one ended up on one of these. A list where those who spoke in class without permission (or made noise) would be written down for punishment. Some class monitors were so infuriatingly thorough that they would write your name and multiply it by the number of times they had seen them speaking.

Marks being read out loud

When the teacher would come in with a sheet with names and marks in an excel table, you’d know the results were about to be announced. It would be heart-breaking when your name is said first and the teacher was announcing the results from the bottom on the list.

Chatting while sharpening pencils

As adults you catch up on smoke breaks, at the water cooler or during snack time. As kids, you would catch up at the bin when you’re sharpening your pencil.

Being royalty when you carry fries for lunch

If you went to a school where students were allowed to carry food, it would be your day as king or queen if you carried chips for lunch. You didn’t even have to share. You just had to smell like fries. Shame that doesn’t work anymore.