Men will do almost anything to get laid. Even lie, sometimes. I curated stories from the source of all that is unholy- the internet of the most common lies men tell just to get laid.

Career lies

Some men have lied that they have outrageous, daring careers that are testament to their testosterone. He could be a toilet appliances salesman but to impress that lady he met, he inflates his career to say, “Rally co-driver” or “sky diving instructor”.

“I’m definitely single”

When he most definitely is playing a score of women.

“I love you”

When they find themselves in a situation where their girlfriends corner them with the intensity of their feelings, they embellish just to seal the deal and get some. When she says, “I’m beginning to see a future with you” or “I really care about you”, he jumps the gun and confesses his undying love.

“Nobody else makes me feel like you.”

This is a vague, immeasurable statement that doesn’t really reflect anything. Just a ploy to make a woman feel special so she’ll finally go to bed with him.

“My mother abandoned me.”

This goes to the creepier spectrum of lines men throw to get laid. One user remarked that he told a girl that he had abandonment issues from when his mum left him and after sex he loves to cuddle for as long as possible.

“My wife doesn’t understand me.”

To try and tickle a woman’s sympathies, some men will go as far as to disparage their wives and paint them as this frigid, unimaginative woman who schedules sex and can never understand or satiate his sexual appetites.

“I’ll be the best sex of your life.”

As if they would know, a unique type of man will talk about his experiences and overinflate just how good his performance is in bed.

“You’re more beautiful than my girlfriend.”

This user confessed that he tried this line so as to try to boost another lady he was interested in.