This was the moment that changed Kenneth Play s life forever. Hed used this line many times before. This exact sort of inquiry had served him well in his attempt to put a serious amount of lean meat on his once slender frame. In fact, the accumulation of good and bad bro-science hed received in reply to this guileless question had helped him carve out a body so impressive that he placed in physique competitions at a national level.
But on this particular occasion, Playthen 29wasnt at a gym. He was at a sex party. With their fingers, someone had just made a woman shoot pulses of liquid high into the air as she writhed and screamed in ecstasy. Female ejaculation was the that that Play wanted to be shown how to do. And shown he was. Then, in time, the pupil became the master. Kenneth Play discovered he had hacked great sex.
When he was 11, Play moved to the U.S. from Hong Kong with his family. By the time he was in his late teens, he couldnt shake the inkling that having a fulfilling sex life in his adopted home country wasnt going to come easy. I was a skinny Asian immigrant with an average-sized penis, he says. Based on what I absorbed from pop culture and saw in porn, women didnt want to have sex with people like me.
Play decided that the best way to increase his sexual appeal was to change the only thing about himself he thought he could changehis body. The result was nothing short of a metamorphosis. I thought that being fit and having a successful career [as a personal trainer] was the key to an awesome sex life, he says. The reality? I just became a sexually frustrated guy with very low body fat.
In that frustration, Play turned to pick-up guides to meet women, though he struggled to put the toxic mix of misogyny and sociopathy into practice. When he did get lucky, the only sex education he had to draw from was porn. What I didnt really understand was that porn was a lie in almost every respect, he says. Theres often no correlation between how good a sex act looks and how much pleasure it confers for either partner. Now I know that its purpose is to entertain, not to educate.
While Play was turning in performances cribbed from PornHub , one of his dates floated the idea of taking him to his first sex party . Despite probably being pretty bad at sex, I was a very sexual person, says Play. So, the opportunity to go to an orgy was huge for me.
So huge that, on the cusp of having a threesome at the party, Play psyched himself out and was unable to achieve and maintain an erection. I just hid in the bathroom, trying to get it up, and I knew that things just couldnt get any worse, he says. But then I realized that if I could get over this, I could get over anything. Instead of telling myself that I was messing up a once-in-a-lifetime experience, I decided to rejoin the party, be honest about what was happening with the two women waiting for me to join them, and just enjoy myself.
After he gave himself permission to relax, Play saddled up to the couple whod been getting wet and wild and politely asked for some pointershis eureka moment. The fitness industrymy industrywas predicated on people being shown how to do something by someone with demonstrable know-how, he says. At that moment, it occurred to me that sex couldand shouldbe taught the same way. I also realized that with a lot of hard work, I could be the one to teach it.
Play hit the books, applying a Tim Ferris approach to everything sex andwith the help of an increasing number of open-minded partnersbegan to deconstruct and understand the elements that make up good sex. It wasnt long before I realized that you dont need a giant dick to have sexual swagger, he says. You need to be a skilled, knowledgeable, and empathetic partner. I quickly discovered that competence equals confidence.
As his transformation gathered pace, he dropped his family name in favor of his professional handle and co-founded Hacienda Villa: an intentional sex-positive community housed in a handsome Brooklyn brownstone. The Villa is not just home to Play and thirteen sex-positive others; its also a venue where special events are held. And while, yes, some of those events are legendary orgies, the vast majority are community and/or education-based.
Its here that you can catch one of Plays PlayLabsa hands-on sex-ed event divided into three parts; a presentation in which Play tells his own story and gives a Ted Talk-like lecture about what hes going to be teaching whether be it impact Play, anal sex, female ejaculation or what he calls the 90 minute orgasm; a demonstration in which he and an assistant perform the act in question: and a final period in which the eager students break off into groups to put what theyve learned into practice. During this last part, Play moves around the room like a yoga teacher, respectfully repositioning bodies when needed and reminding people to breathe.
Of course, not everyone is comfortable with being anally penetrated in a room of strangers. Play soon learned that there was an international market for private sessions and was soon flying around the world to impart what hed picked up in the six or seven years hed been nerding out on sex.
Is being handsomely paid to fly to Vietnam to teach millennial entrepreneurs how to have great sex glamorous? Absolutely. Not least because Play charges a cool grand per session and offers five-figure coaching packages that include multiple sessions over multiple days. Is it scalable as a business? Not so much. Thats why Play began creating online video tutorials so that people the world over can benefit from his hard-won carnal knowledge. Hes now known as the worlds greatest sex hackerat least as far as Google is concerned: Play owns the first page when you search that term. Now 38, Play is living proof that you can still make your American dream come trueeven if that dream is a wet one.