We all need a break from certain things in life because even too much of something good can be dangerous. Even in relationships, you might feel like you need a break especially if things are not going so well.
With couples spending too much time together due to Covid-19, wrangles are increasing. This is also triggered by stress, uncertainty, and even financial constraints caused by the coronavirus pandemic. And while conflicts are unavoidable in relationships, frequent fights with your partner are not something to ignore.
Nevertheless, you can try and maintain a healthy relationship during quarantine by avoiding these behaviours as shared by a relationship expert, one Grace Kariuki:
When your partner does something you do not approve, do not be so fast to be on their neck. Instead of criticizing and attacking them for what they did, Grace advises that it’s best to call out the behaviour. In short, focus on the specific behaviour and not the person.
Some people are in the habit of being defensive even when they are clearly on the wrong. This brings more trouble in relationships instead of making the situation better. When your partner complains about something that you did, make the effort to change for better.
This is when one partner decides to be cold and avoids communication. Even when there is a problem, the partner may pretend as nothing happened and avoid addressing the issue at hand.
“Instead of the silent treatment, take a time out and then express your thoughts even if in a short text. Try to say ‘when you did ABC, I felt XYZ and that is why I am not talking to you. Give me time, I will be okay in a little bit.’ This is what we call assertiveness (expressing your needs without disrespecting the other person).” Says Grace.
According to this therapist, contempt can include behaviours like mocking, sarcasm, condescending tone, name-calling, sneering, among others. It is when one partner assumes that they are better than the other which is unhealthy for any relationship.
“To manage contempt or keep it away, develop a culture of appreciation. Choose to focus on the positive things your partner does.” She advises.